


Of Blue Infinities and Silver Halos

by mizrosecat



Series: stravverse [3]
Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Lee Taeyong-centric, Love Triangles, M/M, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Minor Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Top Byun Baekhyun, mostly bottom ty and top dy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:14:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 32,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26884225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizrosecat/pseuds/mizrosecat
Summary: After Punch promotions, Taeyong can’t seem to catch a break until Baekhyun comes back into his life. But things turn out to be a lot more complicated than he expected.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Series: stravverse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802713
Comments: 335
Kudos: 400





	1. An Old Friend

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i gotta say a couple things before we start
> 
> 1) this fic is part of a series that all takes place in the same canon universe, but you don't have to read the other works in it to understand this. whatever happened to TY in the other fics is explained in this one when it's relevant to the story, so don't worry. 
> 
> 2) this works as a sort of sequel to **of black swans and red knots**. it takes place right after the other ends, so i guess it has spoilers? if you don't care about luten, then it doesn't matter hehe.
> 
> 3) this features TY getting involved with two different people. if for some reason one of the ships really irks you, this might not be for you. i think i gave both of them a fair chance, even if in the end TY ends up with only one of them. 
> 
> okay i think that's it! might return and add something else later if i feel the need. hope you enjoy reading this story!

* * *

"Taeyong-hyung, we need you upstairs."

"Again?" he asks, turning away from his PC to look at Jaehyun.

"Yep."

Taeyong sighs and gets up, following Jaehyun out and taking the elevator to the tenth floor. He can hear the screams from the corridor and it makes him flinch, already thinking about the neighbors complaining to the managers, which means he is the one hearing about it in the end.

He steps into the apartment to find Mark saying gibberish in english to an oblivious Yuta, while Jungwoo and Taeil just watch.

"Mark" interrupts Taeyong. "Stop yelling, please. No one can understand you."

The young man turns around to face him.

"Jaehyun, you called Taeyong-hyung?"

"Of course I did. You two won't stop arguing. It's the third time this week."

"Third time?" Taeyong scans their faces. Mark is flushed and Yuta is sitting on the couch, face impassive and arms crossed over his chest.

"Yep" answers Jungwoo, raising his eyebrows, unamused.

"Let's do this in your room" Taeyong asks. Yuta gets up and inside, while Mark hesitates. "C'mon, Mark."

Taeyong closes the door behind them. He takes a deep breath.

“Can someone explain to me why you two are fighting so loud that people can hear in the corridors?”

“Hyung, he ate my watermelon on purpose” says Mark, very serious. Yuta rolls his eyes.

“It’s not your watermelon. Noona cuts it up for everyone.”

“Yes, but she made a portion specially for me today and you ate it” Mark says.

“There are other fruits in the fridge, Mark” Yuta shrugs. “Also you know you can always cut more watermelon.”

“I know I can, that’s not the point” retorts Mark. “It’s the principle of it.”

“Okay, okay” interrupts Taeyong.

He can’t believe the two of them, fighting over the silliest thing. It seems like yesterday they were all over each other, Yuta showering Mark with love, and now they have been fighting regularly over smallest house stuff: food, noise, cleanliness, etc. What changed everything? 

“I feel like this is not about watermelons. And that yesterday’s fight wasn’t about the cap on the toothpaste. And that last week’s wasn’t about Mark playing the guitar too much” he starts. “So can one of you tell me what’s really happening?”

Silence. Taeyong stares at his bandmates, hoping they will fill that void. But nothing. They aren’t ready to talk it out apparently. Taeyong sighs, rubs his face. Damage control it is.

“I'm just asking that you keep it down. Otherwise the neighbours will complain to manager-hyung again. And I’ll be the one getting scolded _again_ ” says Taeyong. “And if you wanna to talk, please come to my room, okay? I’m serious.”

Mark and Yuta just keep quiet, avoiding looking at the other or Taeyong.

“Understood?”

“Yes, hyung” says Mark dejected.

“Yes, Taeyong.”

He leaves and finds Taeil, Jungwoo and Jaehyun eyeing him expectantly. Taeyong shrugs and with that, they all resume doing something else, fiddling with their phones and unpausing a movie that is on the living room TV. Taeyong approaches the door, near Jaehyun, and whispers “Thank you for calling me.”

“Of course” his bandmate answers. “I’ll always call when we need it.”

Jaehyun attempts a comforting smile and Taeyong says goodbye. He is feeling the start of a stress headache building up behind his eyes as he goes back to his floor and apartment, where the rest of 127 lives in a more peaceful state, but still sometimes chaotic, with Haechan, Johnny and Doyoung. 

“Taeyongie-hyung, play Overwatch with us” pleads Haechan with a cute voice right as Taeyong crosses the threshold. “We are gonna order Tteokbokki, do you want anything?”

“I’m not really hungry, thanks though” says Taeyong. He gets a glass of cold water from the kitchen, watching Haechan and Johnny mess around on their phones, sitting down at the table. 

Haechan turns around and smiles at him, “So, Overwatch?”

“Just a couple matches” concedes Taeyong. “No ranked, please.”

“You got it” Haechan celebrates.

Taeyong sits down at his desktop, after closing the door behind him. He takes a couple deep breaths while the launcher and game load up. He's been trying to enjoy their downtime after working so hard on Punch promotions, but there had been a couple hitches. Mark and Yuta's unexpected hostility, consequently their manager demanding Taeyong deal with it as soon as possible so they won't get in more trouble with the building management, since neighbors complained about the sasaeng incidents that have been happening since Haechan's birthday. Taeyong feels responsible for all of it somehow, even if those are things out of his control, things he can barely do anything about. His protective instinct towards his group flares up, and he gets frustrated feeling so helpless.

Taeyong accepts Haechan's party invite and they queue up for a match. Maybe this is what he needs, just mindless, colorful, noisy fun, something to dull his senses and serve as a blanket he pulls over his anxiety. In the game, he can simply pick Mercy and healing is as easy as a mouse left click. If only reality was like that, he thinks. 

They play a couple matches and win some of them, lifting Taeyong's spirits a bit. The food arrives, putting a stop to their queue, so he gets up and picks up yogurt from the fridge. It's strawberry flavored and for some reason that makes him think of Ten, who is promoting at full speed with WayV right now. He should send his friend a text sometime and catch up.

As Taeyong sits back down again, he gets a pop up from a chat. It's Baekhyun, in the Riot app, inviting him to a party. Taeyong opens the chat window as Baekhyun types, " _Wanna join? Unless you are busy._ "

Taeyong’s gut reaction takes over. " _Sure_ " he answers right away and accepts the invite.

Baekhyun types a smiley face. Taeyong lets Haechan know he is switching games for the night. He settles into his chair comfortably when another message surprises him, " _VC?_ " types Baekhyun.

Taeyong's stomach does a flip, suddenly nervous. But he quickly replies with a yes and then Baekhyun is calling him.

" _Hi_ " says his sunbae, with the characteristic smile he can hear in his voice.

"Hi, hyung" Taeyong manages to answer through the grin that sprouted on his face.

" _How is my favorite blue haired man?_ " he teases, making Taeyong laugh. " _I'm serious, out of everyone you look the best. Sorry, Jongin and Lucas._ "

Taeyong only laughs harder, his face heating up from embarrassment. 

"Stop it, hyung" Taeyong finally says.

" _I only speak truths_ " Baekhyun declares, an emboldened voice. " _Oh, look, our match popped._ "

Baekhyun keeps filling the silence with mostly nonsense and jokes, so Taeyong doesn't have to and he is thankful for that. 

"I can support you" says Taeyong.

" _Yes, please, let's lane together_ " says Baekhyun. " _I'm ready to carry this._ "

The match starts slow and uneventful, but soon Baekhyun goes on a killing spree that propels them to taking objectives and eventually winning. Baekhyun is celebrating extra loud and Taeyong wonders how no one complains about it. Probably perks of living alone.

" _This was amazing. Another one?_ "

"Another" agrees Taeyong, and they continue playing into the night, winning more than losing, laughing and talking.

Taeyong yawns, "Damn, it's getting late."

" _Yeah. I actually have a schedule tomorrow. I mean, today?_ "

"What? Why did you stay up this late?" 

" _Because it's been a while since I had this much fun_ " says Baekhyun, straightforward. " _And we won a lot. We make a good team._ "

Taeyong is shocked, "Yeah, we do."

A couple seconds of silence pass as that moment sinks in.

" _But I guess I'll go to bed now_ " yawns Baekhyun.

"Don't let me keep you up, please. I feel guilty" laughs Taeyong.

" _You have nothing to be guilty about_ " interjects Baekhyun. " _You were great. Thanks for the company. And the amazing support._ "

"Any time" smiles Taeyong and he is glad his sunbae can't see him. 

His face is hurting from laughing and smiling as Taeyong goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He can hear faint noises from Haechan and Johnny's room, probably still playing.

Taeyong tucks himself under his covers and he falls asleep more relaxed than in a long time.


	2. Not Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone
> 
> i'm adding a chapter this soon because i am very very dumb and forgot to click this as a multi chapter fic, so i imagine some people got confused and maybe even frustrated! i hope not. this has a lot of chapters to come! ahahahaha
> 
> enjoy <3

“No” says Doyoung, lowering his shades to examine what Taeyong is holding.

Taeyong puts the shirt back on the rack, “Come on, Doie, pick something.”

“You don’t need to give me anything, Taeyong” grins Doyoung.

“But I want to” he insists. “What do you need?”

“An all paid luxury retreat” Doyoung teases, making Taeyong laugh. 

They leave the store and continue their stroll through the mall. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” sighs the dongsaeng.

“What?”

“Look behind us.”

Taeyong looks over his shoulder and spots a couple girls with long telephoto lenses pointed at them. 

“Let’s just leave” says Taeyong, but before anything Doyoung takes his phone out of his pocket and starts blatantly snapping pictures. That seems to make the sasaengs scatter. 

Doyoung huffs, “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

“Actually I have a better idea. Since you refuse to pick a gift, how about I buy you a drink?” Taeyong smiles.

Doyoung eyes him strangely, “Hm, okay?”

“Let’s go. I know a place near our dorms.”

They take a car to the store, hoping the sasaengs will lose their trail.

“You can sit down, I got it.”

“But I didn’t pick anything” says Doyoung.

“I’ll get you something good, go get us a table” insists Taeyong.

“I can pick my own drink” the other scoffs. 

“Let me do this one thing, Doie” he begs. Taeyong is used to his friend’s antics and how they usually clash, most of it in jest. But he genuinely wants to do something nice and Doyoung is insisting on being his bratty self. 

The appeal seems to work and Doyoung turns around, proceeding to look for a table for them. Taeyong orders two strawberry smoothies and sits down across from him, sliding the cup towards Doyoung. His friend eyes the drink and Taeyong curiously, a smile sprouting on his face.

“What? It’s good I swear” guarantees Taeyong.

Doyoung doesn’t say anything. He just picks up his cup and tastes it, eyebrows raising after, “I guess.”

“Oh God” Taeyong throws his head back and laughs. “You are insufferable.”

Doyoung laughs along, leaning on the table with his elbows.

“Are you okay?”

“What?” Taeyong is caught by surprise.

“I asked, are you okay?” repeats Doyoung emphasising every word.

“Why are you asking?”

“Because you always make sure everyone else is fine and forget about yourself” says Doyoung matter-of-factly. 

“That’s… not true.”

Doyoung’s answer is just to slurp on his smoothie, staring blankly at Taeyong.

“Alright. I’m… I’ve been…” Taeyong struggles to find the words and cuts eye contact with his friend. 

They sit in silence for a couple seconds. Doyoung gives space for Taeyong to organize his words and he is thankful for that.

“I’ve been trying really hard to wind down, but it’s not happening” he confesses. “I don’t know why.”

“Have you tried meditating?”

Taeyong scoffs, “That’s the most generic thing you could say. And yes I have, it didn’t work.”

“Maybe you are the one that needs the luxury retreat” says Doyoung.

“Maybe I do” sighs Taeyong.

“But seriously, you need to find a way to decompress” his friend is serious. “I can tell something is not right. And in the blink of an eye you’ll be doing another comeback and won’t have time for anything again.”

“How can you tell?”

Doyoung shrugs and keeps drinking. Taeyong knows he isn’t getting an answer.

Maybe Doyoung doesn’t wanna tell him. Maybe he just doesn’t know either. 

* * *

Taeyong is sitting on the floor of a practice room staring at nothing, lost in thought. There is noise in the background composed of their managers saying important things about SuperM but he can’t seem to focus. His eyes trail over his bandmates. Lucas and Ten sit side by side, looking tired but great together. Taeyong is one of a few people who knows about their relationship. Then there is Kai and Taemin. Also a couple. They had been casual for years before that. And of course, Baekhyun. Him and Taeyong have… a past. They hooked up in London and a couple times after that. No strings attached fun, until Baekhyun decided to get back together with his ex, Chanyeol. Which was okay by Taeyong. And finally there is Mark, who is basically Taeyong’s younger brother, and still seems like such a teenager on an emotional level that he can’t imagine him with anyone. 

Taeyong’s eyes go back to Baekhyun, who is biting his lower lip, looking very focused. He can’t help but find him attractive with that brown hair and undercut. The EXO member looks relaxed in loose comfortable clothes, that he knows hide a nice body underneath. When Taeyong realizes that he is undressing Baekhyun with his eyes, lost in memories of the two of them, he looks down immediately, feeling a heat flush his face. 

The meeting is over and everyone gets up to leave, saying their goodbyes.

“Hey, stranger” says Ten, snaking his arms around his waist.

“Hey” Taeyong smiles, hugging him back.

“So, what did you think?”

“Turn Back Time? You guys look amazing.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously” Taeyong grabs Ten’s hand and interlaces their little fingers.

“Thanks, hyung” Ten rests his head on Taeyong’s shoulder for a moment. “I wish I could talk more, but we gotta go. Gotta take that home.”

Ten just stares at Lucas, who is talking to Baekhyun, Kai and Mark. Taemin already left, busy with the preparations for his comeback. Taeyong can hear the affection in Ten’s voice and see it in his eyes when referring to Lucas. It makes him happy for them.

The WayV members say their goodbyes, leaving only the EXO and 127 ones behind. Kai and Mark are deep in a conversation when Baekhyun elbows Taeyong.

"Hey, partner."

Taeyong smiles, "Hey."

"Wow, those were some good games we had. I'm surprised at how skilled you are considering you don't play that much."

"You are not bad either" says Taeyong staring at his shoes. "How's promoting?"

"Tiring, as you can see by the dark circles under my eyes" he answers, pointing at his face. "But good. I mean it's my music out there and I get to showcase a different side of me to my fans. It's nice."

Taeyong concedes that he looks tired, but not bad at all, and he says, without much thought, "You are looking good."

Baekhyun stares him in the eyes, contemplating, then opens a small awkward smile, "Thank you."

"And you, and Candy, are doing great so far" adds Taeyong quickly to change the subject. "Seriously."

"Yo, hyung, manager is texting us to meet him downstairs" says Mark to Taeyong.

"Yeah, we should head home" he says, glad to be interrupted before he spills another awkward thing.

"I guess this is goodbye" says Baekhyun. "For now."

"For now" Taeyong can't help a silly smile. Baekhyun opens his arms for a goodbye hug. Taeyong falls into it, trying not to seem skittish about it.

Baekhyun holds him tight, bodies pressed together. He is warm and has the same scent that Taeyong still remembers, his perfume and an underlying almond aroma. Baekhyun buries his nose against Taeyong's neck and in those seconds he feels his stomach fluttering, skin prickling. Baekhyun pulls back and Taeyong says goodbye as quick as he can, leaving the practice room completely flustered. 

On the ride back home, Taeyong scolds himself for his reactions and thoughts about his sunbae. He should stop before it gets too deep. He is convinced he can stop it. He already did once, months before, when it was clear between them that things were casual. He kept his heart out of the matter and he didn't have a hard time at it.

And when he realized he was catching feelings for Ten, before Taemin's intervention, he also managed to kill that. 

It was never a problem for Taeyong to keep his head straight in that area. It's not like his SuperM bandmate was his first hook up since becoming a trainee, but he made a point for those to never become anything else. But before Baekhyun this year, it actually had been a long time since he’d been with anyone. Maybe that explains why he is feeling some type of way. Maybe he is just needy?

Before he knows it, Taeyong has opened a video from an interview of Baekhyun at iHeartRadio, same place that 127 visited a couple weeks back. Stacy is still doing her signature “so sweet” and calling Baekhyun cute, making Taeyong involuntarily smile.

A knock on the door startles him. He pauses the video.

"Come in."

It's Doyoung, "Dinner is ready. Come eat with us. What are you watching?" he says, frowning.

"Er, Baekhyun's iHeartRadio interview. Supporting sunbae's comeback, you know" says Taeyong, feeling stupid suddenly.

Doyoung's face goes blank, "Of course you are. Good for you. Now come eat."

"I'm not that hungry."

His friend sighs, "I know for a fact you didn't have lunch. Unless you had something at SM, which I think you didn't, then you are running on cereal and iced americano. So come eat with us and you can watch your ex-boyfriend later."

"Fine" Taeyong concedes and gets up. "He was not my boyfriend and you know it."

Doyoung shrugs impassively, making Taeyong want to strangle him. He will do that later. For now, they go sit down and eat with Johnny and Haechan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh i honestly don't think this chapter is good but i guess it does its job and pushes the story forward :P lol
> 
> it gets better, i think!
> 
> <3


	3. Thirst

Taeyong opens his eyes slowly. He can hear Haechan in the kitchen, talking to Johnny and Mark. He wants to turn around and go back to sleep but Johnny is likely telling some jokes that are responsible for Mark’s laughter, and it’s too distracting. So Taeyong gets up, rubbing his eyes, craving coffee. 

He steps out of his room and is greeted with enthusiasm by the three of them.

“Good afternoon, everyone” he answers with a hoarse voice, stopping behind Mark and putting his hands on his shoulders. “How are you doing?”

“Great!” says Haechan and Mark nods in agreement.

“We are splendid” says Johnny. “You look like you need coffee.”

“Yes, please” Taeyong yawns. 

“Lucky for you I just made some.”

“You are the best” says Taeyong, picking up a glass in the kitchen and filling it with ice. 

Doyoung comes out of his room, going through his phone. He approaches the group and takes one look at Taeyong.

“You look like hell” he says point blank.

“W-wow” giggles Mark.

“Ouch” goes Haechan.

“Savage” Johnny says.

“I deal with facts” Doyoung states unbothered, grabbing a can from the fridge.

“Good afternoon to you too” Taeyong smiles widely at him.

“ _ I'm the hood Mona Lisa, break a… _ ” Mark starts singing.

“You can’t sing that part though” Johnny interrupts smiling.

“I know, I’m not singing it” laughs Mark. “... _ break a  _ fellow _ into pieces. _ ”

“Nice, nice” Johnny says and they keep singing together, or trying to.

Taeyoung sits down with them, still waking up, and Doyoung sits beside him. Taeyong looks at him carefully, who’s reading something on his phone with full attention, glasses down on the bridge of his nose.

“What are you doing today?” Doyoung asks without looking at him.

“I don’t know. Maybe head to the studio.”

“Are you hungry? There are leftovers from lunch” he says.

“Not really” says Taeyong. 

Doyoung sighs, “Don’t forget to eat before you leave.”

“I don’t forget to eat” retorts Taeyong, prompting an unamused glare from him.

Suddenly Mark, Johnny and Haechan are singing the chorus loudly.

“How is it that whenever Mark comes down they get rowdier than usual” ponders Doyoung.

“Wanna go to the rooftop?” suggests Taeyong.

“Sure, why not.”

After changing, they head up the elevator. The sun is high in the clear sky and it feels good on Taeyong’s skin. Doyoung sits on a garden chair under the wooden gazebo, stretching his legs, while Taeyong closes his eyes for a few seconds, breathing in the fresh air. After that, he sits by Doyoung's legs, watching him.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Reading.”

“Hm” Taeyong sips his coffee. “Scoot over.”

“Why?”

“Let me sit by you.”

“There is another chair literally right there.”

“C’mon Doyoungie, let me” pleads Taeyong.

“Okay, fine.”

Taeyong smiles and snuggles beside his friend, resting his head back, pulling his bucket hat over his eyes to shade them from the light. He drinks his coffee silently, enjoying the ambience and the moment. 

“What are you reading?” he asks after a while.

“Just a trashy novel” Doyoung sighs. “I needed something to distract me. ”

“Hm, sounds fun” Taeyong rests his head on his shoulder, relaxing.

He watches his friend until his eyelids drop closed and Taeyong is being lulled by the warm day.

“Taeyong? Wake up” Doyoung is calling him.

“Hm, what?” Taeyong hears a familiar laugh.

It’s Yuta. He is standing in front of him and Doyoung, grining.

“What happened?”

“I came up here to chill out” says Yuta. “And found you too napping.”

“Ugh” Doyoung gets up. “I’m going back down. See you guys later.”

He leaves and Yuta sits in front of Taeyong, “Check it out”, giving him his phone. Taeyong studies a close up picture of him and Doyoung sleeping peacefully, heads resting together. It looks so cute and domestic, he’s taken back a bit. 

“Adorable” giggles Yuta. 

“Send me” Taeyong smiles, handing back the phone. 

“On it.”

“The weather is amazing today” comments Taeyong.

“Yeah. It’s almost summer solstice. I wish I could be in Osaka” replies Yuta, squinting at the blue sky. 

“Are you tired of us?” laughs Taeyong and Yuta joins him.

“Maybe a bit.”

Taeyong scans his bandmate, who’s smile pales a bit. He realizes he struck a nerve.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he offers.

“It’s stupid” Yuta dismisses it. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Will you please come talk to me if you need to? Promise me you will.”

“Okay” Yuta nods.

“You can come visit me on the fifth floor. We’re fun, I swear” Taeyong pokes him.

“Sure” grins Yuta.

Taeyong spends a while chatting with him, until he is hungry. Then he goes back to have lunch and do some cleaning around the house. The sun is starting to set when Taeyong takes a long shower and gets ready to head to the studio. 

“I’m leaving” he says to Doyoung, who is watching something on Netflix in his room.

“Okay, just…” Doyoung starts but cuts himself off.

“What?”

“I was gonna say don’t come back too late but you always do so what’s the point.”

“I’ll try” Taeyong offers. “Keep an eye on everything for me. Text me if anything happens.”

“Got it.”

Taeyong calls a car, and only exits the building when it arrives, feeling a little apprehensive. He looks around as he’s driven away, but it seems like there is no one camping outside their apartment today.

It’s already dark when he arrives at the studio. He settles with a producer in a booth to record some takes on a new song he is working on. The hours pass and he barely notices when it’s midnight.

“I think we are done for the night, I promised I’d get home early” he says.

Taeyong is craving a Coke Zero as he heads to the break room, where he spent many nights sleeping on the couch. Not tonight though, he thinks to himself, as he sticks money in the vending machine. He punches in the numbers, but nothing happens. He repeats it, but the can of soda just won’t drop. He is thirsty and tired, and that gets on his nerves. He shakes the machine a bit. 

“Did it eat your money?” asks someone behind him and Taeyong startles, turning around.

It’s Baekhyun, smiling at him.

“You scared me” Taeyong says.

“I see that. Do you need help?” he approaches.

“It won’t give me my Coke” complains Taeyong, facing the treacherous machine again. 

“That happens sometimes” says Baekhyun, taking out a won bill from his wallet. “Let me try.”

Baekhyun stands right behind him, chest brushing against Taeyong’s shoulder, as he works on getting them drinks. Taeyong feels his pulse pick up at the proximity, but he can’t seem to move away. Maybe he doesn't want to move away. He can barely pay attention to what is happening until two cans appear in front of him. 

“Thanks, hyung. You didn’t have to” he manages to say. 

“No problem” Baekhyun smiles, sitting down on the couch. “Late night session?”

“Yeah, just working on a song. What about you?” Taeyong sits somewhat far from him.

“I just passed by to see Jongin and my other EXO members” he says casually. “They are about to drop their album.”

“I heard” Taeyong feels uneasy. He takes a sip from his drink. “I’m sure you are glad for them.”

“I bet it will turn out great” he answers. “Were you on your way out?”

Taeyong nods, “I just needed something to drink.”

“Good thing I popped by then, otherwise you’d have stayed thirsty” grins Baekhyun.

“I would have” says Taeyong. A moment passes until he finally asks, “So how is everything? Between you two?”

Taeyong knows he shouldn’t ask that. He doesn’t want to know, but he wants to, at the same time. It’s a confusing succession of feelings, stacked all over his brain. He can already tell his face is blushing a bit and his heart is stuttering in his chest, awkwardly waiting for the answer.

“Me and Chanyeol?” Baekhyun is playing with the tab on his soda can. He sighs. Then lets out a joyless laugh.

“You don’t have to answer, hyung” says Taeyong, already regretting everything.

“We’re on good terms” he answers before Taeyong can say anything else. “We’ll always be friends and bandmates first. At least that’s what we strive for.”

Taeyong’s stomach is doing flips. He doesn’t know if he wants to keep gawking at Baekhyun or turn away.

“But we are not together right now” Baekhyun turns to stare at Taeyong, and he is unusually serious.

A chill runs down Taeyong’s spine, but he doesn’t look away. 

“You seeing anyone?” Baekhyun asks, finally breaking the silence, playing with the tab again.

Taeyong clears his throat, “No.”

“Really? I thought you and Ten… After everything that happened, might… you know.” 

“No, nothing happened between us” tells Taeyong, shaking his head. “He had already moved on when I found out anyway.”

Baekhyun fiddles with the tab until he tears it free, “I see.”

They fall into a weird silence and it’s like the air around them is filled with static. Each one is avoiding the other’s eyes, fidgeting around. Taeyong wonders why the fuck he put himself in that situation with his hyung, when he knows better. He is barely breathing, the weird habit he has when he concentrates too hard on something, and he wants to start biting his nails. 

“It’s late” Baekhyun is the one to break the silence again. “I should head home.”

Baekhyun gets up and tosses his empty soda can in the trash. Taeyong does the same and stretches. Turning around to say goodbye, Taeyong offers his hand, but Baekhyun opens his arms, inviting him for a hug. Taeyong gulps and accepts it, letting Baekhyun’s warmth envelop him. Just like last time they hugged, he can smell Baekhyun's bright scent with ease, and it almost makes him dizzy. After a while they part and Baekhyun smiles before turning around and leaving.

Taeyong falls down on the couch, sinking his head into his hand and huffing. He catches his breath and tries to calm his heart, that is trying to burst out of his chest.

After a couple minutes, out of nowhere, he hears someone call out, “Hey.”

Baekhyun is back, standing by the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one has a lot of cliff hangers i think, sorry hahaha
> 
> hope you liked it tho!


	4. Ghost

Taeyong springs to his wobbly feet, his legs weakening under the eyes of his bandmate, who is walking towards him. Baekhyun stops close enough to make Taeyong scared. They stare at each other and Taeyong forgets to breathe again. Baekhyun takes his hand, then another step. Their foreheads touch. Taeyong shuts his eyes by instinct, thinking this all must be a dream. Noses brush together and Baekhyun grabs Taeyong by the neck, thumb grazing his jawline.

“We probably shouldn’t do this,” he whispers.

“Probably” Taeyong weakly agrees.

But he has already surrendered.

Baekhyun joins their lips and Taeyong melts under his touch immediately. He realizes in a flash how much he has been missing him and how badly he wanted this. And he is getting the same energy from Baekhyun, who bites Taeyong’s lower lip and deepens the kiss fast. Taeyong pulls Baekhyun by the waist, their bodies molding into one another. Baekhyun grips his blue hair, that was hidden under Taeyong’s hat, which falls off his head. Taeyong doesn't care.

Their tongues are brushing, their bodies flush against each other, they get lost in their own world. Taeyong can feel the makeout getting heated by the second but his mind is far gone.

A loud noise coming from the corridor scares them and they jump apart. Taeyong grabs his hat and Baekhyun clears his throat, "Come to my place."

Taeyong's eyes widen. Before his mind even comes up with an excuse, he nods, sealing his fate for the evening, whatever it means. Without another word, they head out into the chilly night. Baekhyun drives them to his apartment, while Taeyong stares out the window at Seoul. Before he knows, they are pulling in a parking spot and going up the elevator. Baekhyun punches his key code and lets them in.

They walk into the living room, but before Baekhyun can turn on the lights, Taeyong pulls him close into a hug. His bandmate wraps his arms around him and Taeyong sinks into the long due embrace. Baekhyun sighs and runs his fingers through Taeyong’s lower back lighty. He kisses his cheek and the touch of his lips sets Taeyong’s skin on fire. For a while, they just stay that way. Then Baekhyun pulls back a bit and finally joins their lips one more time.

The kiss is just a light touch, a nibble, until Baekhyun grips Taeyong by the back of his hair, pulling on it. Taeyong opens up for him, sighing into his mouth. Baekhyun rests his back against the wall and pulls Taeyong close to him. Soon his bag and hat are on the floor, along with Baekhyun's jacket. 

Suddenly, Baekhyun is pulling him to what can only be his room, kissing nonstop. Taeyong sinks his fingers into Baekhyun's skin under his shirt, so hard it may leave a bruise. They reach the bedroom and clothes start falling off. Taeyong’s hands are shaking as he undresses him. 

Baekhyun lays between Taeyong’s legs, grabbing his wrists and pinning them over his head, pressing their bodies together. Taeyong sees stars behind his eyes and can’t help but moan as his skin against Baekhyun’s is set ablaze. He mouths Taeyong’s earlobe and neck, then reaches for the bedside table. Taeyong throws his head back, panting as Baekhyun opens him up slowly.

After a while, he can hear the wrapper tearing. Taeyong feels the burn as Baekhyun sinks into him, while peppering his jaw with kisses. Something lights up in his chest, a sense of belonging mixed with nostalgia from the memories of their previous hookups. But there’s something peculiar this time, Taeyong realizes, not in a bad way. Baekhyun seems different and consequently so does himself. Before, it was good, but felt almost mechanic, purely physical. Tonight, his heart is actually fluttering, beating hard against his chest, like it might burst out.

They cum one right after the other and, unlike the last times, Baekhyun doesn’t roll away immediately. They catch their breath for a minute and Taeyong almost falls asleep under his weight. A kiss makes him open his eyes.

“Shower?” offers Baekhyun.

Taeyong nods. For a moment he thinks he’ll be alone, but Baekhyun joins him. He even rubs his back with a loofah. When Taeyong steps out of the bathroom, he starts picking up his clothes on the floor. 

“Leave it,” says Baekhyun.

“What?”

Baekhyun approaches him, “Stay the night.”

That is new.

“Okay” he answers without a second thought and they get under the sheets naked. 

They lay on their sides facing each other and Baekhyun searches for Taeyong’s hand with his, planting a kiss on it. Taeyong wants to do something, but his mind is numb and his eyelids are heavy. The bed and pillow are so soft and comfortable, and Baekhyun is caressing his skin gently, lulling him to sleep.

Taeyong dreams about diving into a blue infinity, somewhere he fits perfectly.

He wakes up with Baekhyun spooning him, their positions having changed during the night. He doesn’t really wanna move, but he needs to use the bathroom, so he wiggles himself out of his bandmate’s arms and tiptoes away. He makes sure to brush his teeth with his finger before going back to bed. He lays back down in the same position, body relaxing easily again.

The sun is rising, he can tell by the rays of light coming through the cracks of the window. Taeyong curls upon himself, going over the night before in his head. It was probably their best fuck. But the fact that Baekhyun asked him to stay over and was overall more caring is unfamiliar to Taeyong. Not only based on their previous hookups but his experiences in general since starting as a trainee. He had no time for sex and when he did, he didn’t linger around for cuddling. Neither did anyone else. 

He's lost in thought and before he knows it, he's asleep again.

This time he wakes up to Baekhyun's touch. Taeyong can feel him tracing patterns on his naked back. He stirs and looks at him over his shoulder.

"Good morning" says Baekhyun.

"Hi. What time is it?"

"No idea" Baekhyun pulls Taeyong into his arms, lacing their hands together.

They stay like that for a while. Taeyong sighs as Baekhyun nuzzles the back of his neck. He kisses his nape, making Taeyong close his eyes and tremble lightly.

"I missed you,” Baekhyun says.

Taeyong's stomach does a flip. Trying not to rationalize everything that is happening, he pulls Baekhyun's hand and kisses it, "Me too."

Baekhyun squeezes him tighter.

"You hungry?" he asks and there is undeniable joy in his voice.

Taeyong nods. Suddenly food seems like a great idea. Baekhyun kisses his cheek before getting up and slipping into a bathrobe, laying out one for Taeyong as well. He heads into the kitchen, humming a song Taeyong doesn't know.

In turn, Taeyong takes the time to collect their clothes and fold them properly, placing them over the bed he just tidied up. He waddles through the corridors, taking in the apartment. He finds Baekhyun in the kitchen, staring into his fridge. The coffee machine is running, filling the place with the scent he loved so much. 

“I realized I just have cereal and eggs,” he says.

“Cereal is fine by me,” says Taeyong.

“Okay, have a seat.”

Taeyong obeys and watches as Baekhyun places two bowls, milk and cereal box on the counter. His hair is all over the place, making Taeyong want to reach out and comb it with his fingers. 

“Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

Baekhyun pours some for both of them and sits down, smile on his face. That makes Taeyong laugh nervously.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing.”

They eat their cereal, drink their coffee and chat about nothing in particular. When they are done, Taeyong insists on doing the dishes. Baekhyun disappears and comes back with a bluetooth speaker, sitting in the living room. Taeyong takes a couple hesitant steps towards him. He thinks about leaving, not overstaying his welcome, but Baekhyun taps the seat right next to him.

“What do you wanna listen to?” he asks.

“Anything is good,” Taeyong says as he sits down.

Baekhyun fiddles with his phone until he picks a soft acoustic song, then puts his phone aside, scooting closer to Taeyong.

“Do you have anything scheduled today?”

“No.”

“Me neither” smiles Baekhyun.

“You know, for a moment I thought Mongryong might be here” comments Taeyong looking around.

“Oh really? Is that why you came?” teases Baekhyun.

“Of course” he answers, making him laugh.

Baekhyun intertwines their hands, thumb rubbing over Taeyong’s skin. 

“I’m glad you did, whatever the reason may be” he says, with a sincere expression. 

Taeyong feels a shiver run down his spine. Baekhyun leans in and kisses him. Another surprise for Taeyong, who takes a second too long to react. But soon he is closing the rest of the distance between them, slipping his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, who grips his waist. They bite and kiss until their lips are swollen and Taeyong’s head is spinning. Baekhyun pulls back, caressing his cheek and staring into Taeyong’s eyes. 

“I’m glad I came too” he confesses in a whisper, even though he feels embarrassed by it.

Baekhyun smiles and gives him a peck on the lips, “I have an idea. Stay longer. We can order some lunch later, play some League or PUBG. I have my desktop and a laptop, we can have a lan party.”

Taeyong laughs, then nods. How could he say no to that? He hasn’t felt this relaxed in… this entire year, probably, maybe longer. Maybe it was the sex last night, maybe it is the company, maybe the change in environment. It doesn’t really matter, because he doesn’t want it to end. Not yet. 

So Baekhyun sets up everything in his office, while he sings to himself. Taeyong already knew he did that a lot, but it’s particularly endearing now for some reason. 

“You can have the desktop,” Baekhyun says.

“But…”

“I’m used to the notebook, it’s fine” he insists.

They spend hours playing and having fun. Taeyong laughs at how loud Baekhyun gets, sometimes screaming when he makes a mistake. When they get hungry, Baekhyun orders delicious takeout. Afterwards, they watch some Netflix in bed and even nap for a while. Taeyong wakes up with Baekhyun’s phone ringing in the living room. He rubs his eyes and yawns while his bandmate grunts and goes pick it up. Taeyong realizes he hasn’t touched his phone since last night and that he doesn’t know where he left his bag. 

While Baekhyun talks probably to his manager, Taeyong strolls around looking for his things. He finally finds it in the kitchen and takes his phone out to go over it.

He finds five missed calls and many messages from a couple of members. Jaehyun, Mark, Johnny, Jungwoo and Doyoung. His pulse picks up, immediately worried. He opens Doyoung’s DMs.

_ Doyoung: where are you? _

_ Doyoung: are you staying at the studio tonight? _

_ Doyoung: mark and yuta had a fight again _

_ Doyoung: mark is staying in my room tonight _

_ Doyoung: taeyong, where are you? are you okay? _

“Fuck” he can’t help but mutter.

“What happened?” asks Baekhyun.

“Something happened in the dorms. I have to go” he says. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, duty calls. I can drive you.”

“You don’t have to, I can call an Uber” says Taeyong.

“No, please, let me.”

They get ready quickly and head out. Taeyong shakes his leg nervously during the trip back home and Baekhyun rubs his thigh when they are at a red light, maybe in an attempt to calm him. It works to an extent. What Taeyong feels more than nervousness is guilt for not being there when he was needed. Baekhyun stops in front of the building and turns to Taeyong.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m just-” Taeyong starts. “It’s just leader things.”

“I kinda know what you mean,” says Baekhyun, taking his hand. He deposits a kiss on Taeyong’s pulse point. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will” Taeyong squeezes Baekhyun’s hand before exiting the car.

When he enters, he can hear Johnny, Jaehyun and Mark talking lightheartedly in the kitchen.

“Hi, everyone.”

They go silent and look at him weird.

“Hey, hyung” says Mark.

“You been in the studio this whole time?” asks Johnny.

“Yes” Taeyong lies.

Doyoung comes out of his room, “Taeyong. A word?”

Taeyong walks in and Doyoung closes the door behind them.

“Where have you been? Did your phone die?”

“I was at the studio. Sorry, it was silenced and I forgot.”

Doyoung frowns.

“You’re lying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week we get double update. yay! next one is either wed or thurs.
> 
> sooooo. baekhyun and taeyong are at it again. i wonder what could go wrong? *thinks* i mean, besides yuta and mark fighting and doyoung being a lie detector XD
> 
> let me know if you liked it!  
> ♥


	5. A Right-hand Man

"You're lying."

Doyoung's words hit him like a brick, out of nowhere. His friend is so serious right now, Taeyong feels cornered.

"What do you mean I'm lying?"

"Taeyong, I know you," he says. "Don't waste time and tell me where you were all night and today."

Taeyong moves his weight from one foot to the other, biting his lower lip. He pinches the bridge of his nose. 

"Fuck."

"Now you are making me worried. What happened?"

"No, don't worry" says Taeyong. "I'm sorry I lied. I just don't want the others to know.”

"Okay" Doyoung places a hand on his shoulder. "I won't tell anyone"

Taeyong takes a deep breath, "I was at Baekhyun-hyung's place."

Doyoung’s hand stills before he pulls it away, "Oh. I see."

"Don't judge me."

"I-I am not" he says. "I'm glad you guys are back together."

Taeyong straightens his eyes at his friend. 

"We were never together in the first place."

"Well, congratulations on whatever complicated back and forth thing you two have" Doyoung rolls his eyes and goes sit on his bed. "Sorry if I can't seem to wrap my head around it."

Taeyong folds his arms and opens his mouth to retort, but realizes they would just keep bickering nonstop. 

Instead he says, "I'm sorry I wasn't here. What happened?"

Doyoung doesn't look at him, "Mark and Yuta started fighting late at night and Jaehyun called me after you didn't answer your phone."

Taeyong feels stress overtake every muscle of his body.

"I went there and asked Mark to come sleep here. He hasn't gone back up yep."

"What were they fighting about this time?"

"No one knows. And no one asked."

Taeyong sits beside Doyoung, "Shit. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do."

They stay silent, thoughts running through Taeyong’s head. Doyoung takes his hand hesitantly. 

“It’ll be fine. Mark can stay here a while, maybe? Let’s ask him.”

“You are right. Thanks for dealing with it, while I-”

“It’s not a problem” Doyoung interrupts. He pulls Taeyong to a side hug, and Taeyong rests his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “It was just bad timing.”

Doyoung’s fingers stroke Taeyong’s shoulder lightly for a moment.

“You smell like someone else” he comments offhandedly, pulling away. “You should probably talk to Mark right now.”

Taeyong huffs trying not to let Doyoung get under his skin. He leaves.

"Mark? Come with me?" Taeyong asks as he goes towards his bedroom.

Taeyong holds the door open for him. Mark's eyes are on the floor, he's holding his arm and seeming like he is about to get scolded. Taeyong drops his things and gets comfortable on his bed.

"Sit down with me" he invites. Mark still doesn't look at him. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"I'm sorry, hyung…"

"There is nothing to be sorry about" assures Taeyong, placing a hand on his knee. "Do you wanna stay here a while? Doyoung says you can sleep in his room."

Mark starts shaking suddenly and Taeyong realizes he's crying. 

"Hyung-" he chokes on his sentence, unable to keep going.

The fact that Mark doesn't usually cry in front of him or others makes this event catch Taeyong off guard. Historically it was him who cried while Mark stayed cool as a cucumber, even if he is the younger one. He pulls his dongsaeng into a hug and lets him cry it out, until he is calmer. 

It's decided that, for the moment, Mark will move to the fifth floor and bunk in Doyoung's spare bed. Jaehyun brings some of his clothes and things down, then Taeyong asks to speak with him, since he was there when it all started.

“They just started fighting again and Mark left when Doyoung intervened,” Jaehyun explains. 

“About what?”

“We have no idea. They were in their bedroom. We just heard the screams.”

“Screams?”

Jaehyun nods, a somber look on his face saying everything. 

In his bed at night, Taeyong tosses and turns, unable to fall asleep. He has no idea what to do. He tried talking to both of them, individually and together, and nothing came of it. He can’t force it out. No one has ever fought like that in NCT, not under his leadership at least. Dreamies often prank each other viciously, but never fight, and WayV is very tight and gets along well. 

For Mark and Yuta, who are best friends, to be fighting like that, to the point where one of them is left in tears, it must be serious. Changing their rooms is only a minor fix. He needed to get to the root of the problem, so they can heal, otherwise the entire balance of the group will remain thrown off. 

Annoyed at his racing thoughts, Taeyong grabs his phone, looking at the time. It’s past midnight. He opens his DMs, thinking if he should send something to Yuta or not, when a message arrives. It’s Baekhyun.

_ BH: hey, how is everything over there? _

_ TY: bad.  _

_ BH: what happened? _

_ TY: fight between two members. I don’t know what to do. I tried talking to them but it keeps happening. _

He knows telling Baekhyun the identity of them is not a good idea.

_ BH: have you tried the SHINee way? _

Taeyong remembers when Taemin made SuperM sit and talk out what was wrong months ago before their Beyond Live concert. That’s how they had found many things about one another, like Taemin and Kai being in a relationship, Ten’s crush on him, his hookup with Baekhyun. It had been a weird group therapy session and it involves being totally honest about one's feelings. But Taeyong doesn’t believe he has what it takes. Another thing they had found out that day was how Taemin could be intimidating. Taeyong didn’t have an intimidating bone in his body. 

_ TY: I'm no Taemin though. Don't know if I can pull it off. _

_ BH: enlist the help of someone else. A right hand man. _

_ TY: that’s actually a good idea. _

_ TY: thanks. _

Taeyong is smiling to himself, glad he picked his phone.

_ BH: tomorrow I have a schedule, but do you wanna come here after?  _

Baekhyun is apparently full of surprises now. They never saw each other this frequently. Taeyong thinks about it for a second.

_ TY: yeah. _

_ BH: awesome. I'll text you when I get home, okay? _

_ BH: I should probably sleep, I have an early morning. Good night! _

Taeyong puts his phone aside and stares at the ceiling. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Clear your head, he thinks to himself.

When Taeyong wakes the next day, he notices he overslept. His body is strange and achy. He finds the apartment empty, which is weird. There’s usually someone around. He pours himself some water when he hears Doyoung’s door opening, startling him.

“Oh my god, you scared me” he says, clutching his chest.

“You get panicked so easily,” Doyoung says. “Good afternoon.”

“Where is everyone?”

“They went out to eat and shop.”

“And why are you here?”

“I’m enjoying my new A/C, thank you very much” he winks, making Taeyong laugh.

“Good, because I actually need to talk to you.”

“What’s up? Get in my room.”

They settle on Doyoung’s bed, one in front of the other.

“I need your help with talking to Mark and Yuta.”

“How can I help?”

“I gotta mediate and figure out what the hell is happening between them. And I don’t think I can do it alone.”

“Why not?”

“I tried and it didn’t work. I don’t know, Doie” Taeyong covers his face.

“Okay, chill out” he says. “I’ll help. What exactly do you want to do?”

“Remember what happened months ago in that SuperM practice?” Taeyong asks.

“When you found out Ten’s crush?”

“Yes. Taemin made us sit and be honest with our feelings. It was hard but it worked.”

“Oh, shit. Now I know why you need my help” Doyoung laughs nervously.

“Please, please, please” Taeyong grabs Doyoung’s hands and burrows his face in his chest. 

“You don’t have to beg, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you.”

Doyoung kisses the top of his head before Taeyong pulls away and smiles. 

“When are we doing this?”

“I don’t know. I kinda wanna give them time to calm down. Is that smart?” wonders Taeyong.

“It’s very smart.”

“You are the best wingman I could ask for” Taeyong beams and Doyoung laughs. “What are you doing?”

“I was reading. Why?”

“Do you wanna hang out?”

“God, you are so needy. Baekhyun-hyung isn’t enough?”

Taeyong gasps, “How dare you?”

He lifts his hand to push Doyoung, but with a fast reflex he grabs it. Taeyong tries again with the other hand and they start struggling, in an attempt to overpower one another. They’re laughing, but Taeyong is laughing harder, so he falls with his back on the bed and Doyoung climbs on top of him. 

“Okay, stop” giggles Taeyong and his bandmate lets him go. “Just hang out with me, damn it.”

“Yeah, yeah” Doyoung sits back and pulls Taeyong up. 

“Let me make some coffee and I’ll be right back.”

At some point later, they can hear Mark, Johnny and Haechan arriving home. Taeyong creeps out to check on Mark. He is like his usual self, having fun with them. Taeyong decides to leave him be. 

Taeyong is in the middle of a plate of food when his phone beeps.

_ BH: just got home, you still up for a visit? _

_ TY: sure, I’ll get ready and text you when I'm on my way. _

He takes a long shower and slips into some comfortable clothes. Before he heads out, he lets Doyoung know, like he usually does.

“I’m heading out.”

“It’s late, where are you… Oh.”

Realization dawns on Doyoung's face.

“Good for you” he gives Taeyong a thumbs up.

Taeyong rolls his eyes, “I’ll be back in the morning, probably.”

“Don’t have too much fun” Doyoung deathpans, turning back to his phone. 

Taeyong laughs and leaves, heading to Baekhyun’s house, not knowing what to expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> taeyong naive x)
> 
> sometimes it feels like doyoung is the antagonist here LMAO i don't know where my mind was when i wrote this hahahahaha
> 
> next probable update: friday!


	6. Underwater

As soon as Taeyong steps into Baekhyun's apartment, he is pulled into a hug. The result is he immediately relaxes, like the weight of his concerns lifts away. Baekhyun takes him by the hand to the sofa and they settle in.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. How was your day?" Taeyong asks.

"Just normal work stuff. I'm glad it's over" he interlaced their fingers. "I'm glad you're here."

Taeyong's smiles shyly.

"Do you want a drink? I'm pretty sure I got some soju."

"Actually, yes" says Taeyong. He doesn't usually drink, but after the days he’s been having, he feels like it.

Baekhyun brings back a bottle and two cups. They cheer and Taeyong downs his in one gulp, feeling it burn his throat. Baekhyun refills it. 

“So” he starts. “Do you wanna tell me what happened? You don’t have to.”

Taeyong sighs, “Two of our members who just happen to be great friends have been arguing over dumb things for weeks, but it escalated to a full blown screaming match the night I was here. That’s what they told me at least. I’m exhausted” he throws his head back on the sofa.

“But did they actually get physical?”

“Not that anyone knows of. One of them did cry because of it.”

“D.O. used to hit us a lot, but we deserved it” says Baekhyun. 

“What?” Taeyong looks at him, disbelieving.

“Yeah, you can search for it online if you want” Baekhyun laughs. “But it was always playful, even when we were all over each other. Your case seems more serious.”

“Unfortunately. But you are right. I’m gonna try the SHINee way and I already enlisted a right-hand man to help me.”

“Happy to contribute” Baekhyun smiles and raises his glass. 

They keep drinking and talking. It doesn’t take long for a haze to fill Taeyong’s mind, a slow drunken high. Things get funnier than usual and he relaxes. He’s so thankful for that moment where he doesn’t have to worry about anything, where responsibilities fade away into the background of his mind. Right now, with Baekhyun, he can be a little reckless. No one is looking up to him.

Taeyong is laughing at Baekhyun so hard and loud he is bending over, basically breathless. Giggling, Baekhyun grabs his shoulder, turning Taeyong towards him.

“Don’t die on me, breathe.”

Baekhyun cups Taeyong’s face with his hands and inhales and exhales calmly. Taeyong’s fit passes and they start breathing in sync. For a while they just stay like that, only the background music filling the silence.

“Can I kiss you?” asks Baekhyun.

Taeyong gulps.

“Yes.”

He leans in, tasting alcohol in Baekhyun’s breath. Taeyong slips his hands around his waist. Baekhyun’s tongue brushes against his lips and Taeyong opens up to him. He’s diving deep in the kiss, without a thought, without purchase. Soon he needs more, he needs to be closer, so Taeyong slides onto Baekhyun’s lap, straddling him. He can hear a satisfied sigh coming from him at the touch of their bodies, kindled from the booze. They kiss and touch and move against each other, hands clutching hair and fingertips marking up skin. 

Taeyong doesn't realize he is softly moaning against Baekhyun’s mouth. He’s horny and dizzy and hot, his clothes feel heavy and he feels like he might burst at the seams. Baekhyun pulls him by the hips, making Taeyong’s hard dick press against him. His eyes roll to the back of his head, drowning into the sensation of their bodies flushed together. Baekhyun kisses his jaw, earlobe, neck. He pulls his t-shirt down and bites his shoulder. It stings and Taeyong gasps at the pain and pleasure.

“Bedroom?” Baekhyun asks, out of breath.

“Please” is all Taeyong can say as he is lifted up and carried over.

They get on the bed, kissing again, clothes finally falling off. Fingers run fast over Taeyong’s body, caressing and taking him into a sweeter dimension, opening him up. Baekhyun rests against the headboard, slides on a condom and pulls Taeyong on top of him, clutching his hips as Taeyong sinks in. He hisses at the dull burn, lessened by the alcohol running through his veins. Baekhyun seals their lips together, waiting for Taeyong to adjust and get used to the stretch. 

“I’m good” he whispers, and starts moving, fucking himself onto Baekhyun slow and steady. 

Soon they are panting, skin glistening with sweat and Taeyong is dipping into somewhere else, his mind floating in space, as Baekhyun’s teeth dig into his skin everywhere he can, licking and kissing. He can’t hold back his peak anymore and cums with a scream, shutting his eyes and seeing stars. As he rides his high, he can hear Baekhyun fall apart underneath him. 

His body crumbles, exhausted. They both catch their breath, holding each other close. 

Then Baekhyun is carrying him to the bathroom, sitting Taeyong down and cleaning him up with tissues. He starts running the bathtub, steam filling up the place quickly. Baekhyun lies down and Taeyong settles between his legs. He feels nothing, he thinks nothing. There is only water and Baekhyun’s skin against his, and they are inside a bubble outside of time and space.

He doesn’t realize he fell asleep until Baekhyun is waking him up and the water is way colder than before. They take a shower and Taeyong gets cozy under the covers.

“Do you want something to drink?” Baekhyun asks.

“I can get it,” Taeyong says, sitting up.

“No, no, stay there and I’ll be right back.”

Baekhyun comes back with a tall glass of water.

“Thanks,” Taeyong says, drinking quickly.

Baekhyun just smiles. After that, he gets into bed and spoons Taeyong.

"I'm gonna say something but don't think I'm crazy, okay?" Baekhyun starts suddenly.

Taeyong turns around to face him, "Okay."

"I didn't think we'd ever be like… this again."

Baekhyun is propped up on his arm, staring down at a confused Taeyong.

"What do you mean?"

"Back in May when I told you I was getting back together with Chanyeol," he says. "I didn’t think he and I would ever do that. Honestly, I was enjoying hanging out with you."

Taeyong's body gets stiff and he wants to look away but can't. 

"But because he broke up with the person he was seeing at the time and wanted a clean slate" Baekhyun continues. "I followed along. And I thought you and me were done."

Taeyong's stomach is doing flips. He doesn't know how he's supposed to react to that information. 

"Now I don’t know if my heart was completely in it" says Baekhyun, taking Taeyong's hand. “And all this time, we could’ve…”

He stops suddenly, unable to continue.

"Hyung, I..." Taeyong doesn't know what to say..

"I'm sorry, I sound stupid" Baekhyun hides his face on the pillow.

"Thank you for being honest," says Taeyong.

Baekhyun peeks at him.

"I’m sorry that happened,” Taeyong adds, trying to come up with words. Was he supposed to be hurt? Sad? He has no idea. “Back then, I-I also enjoyed it. But I can’t lie, I felt guilty when the group found out and Kai reacted the way he did. It seemed like you were cheating on Chanyeol.”

“I wasn’t” Baekhyun cups Taeyong face. “Jongin had no idea what he was talking about, he’s an idiot.”

Taeyong puts his hand over Baekhyun’s and closes his eyes, feeling comforted in the midst of his confusion. Baekhyun kisses him softly and he gives himself over to it. Soon Taeyong is drowning under that sweet touch, feeling Baekhyun run fingers through his hair. 

They fall asleep in a hug, Taeyong’s face burrowing under Baekhyun’s chin.

He wakes up in the exact same position. Taeyong feels Baekhyun stir awake beside him and kiss the top of his head. Baekhyun keeps going, kissing til his neck, making Taeyong hum satisfied. It doesn’t take long for Taeyong to get hard and it only escalates from there. Baekhyun mouths his way down to Taeyong’s lower belly, bites and licks his hips, and eventually sucks him off until he cums. Baekhyun mentions breakfast, but Taeyong doesn’t let him leave bed until he has him crumbling underneath his mouth as well.

After an entire day of fucking and gaming and eating, Taeyong feels like an entire new person, stepping back into his apartment. His good mood is unwavering and he believes his will is strong enough to solve Mark and Yuta’s situation. So he takes a shower and knocks on Doyoung’s door.

“Come in.”

He’s watching something on Netflix, so he pauses and looks at Taeyong, who’s closing the door behind him and turning on the light.

“Let’s do this,” he says.

Doyoung eyes him up and down.

“Do what?”

“Sit Mark and Yuta down and figure it out.”

Doyoung gets up, “Okay. Where are we doing it?”

Then he stops, grabs Taeyong’s sleeve and pulls it down.

“What the fuck is _that_?” he goes.

Taeyong looks down, “Oh.”

“Is that a bite mark?” Doyoung is perplexed. “That’s deep.”

“Don’t judge me” Taeyong pulls away, putting his shirt in place.

Doyoung giggles, “I’m not, I’m just surprised. Lucky for you we don’t have any shirtless photoshoots, because that’s gonna take a while to heal up.”

“How would you even know that?”

“Taeyong” he rolls his eyes. “I can see Baekhyun-hyung's dental arcade marked in your skin.”

His face heats up, “Shut up. Whatever. Let’s go.”

They call Mark, who reluctantly joins them, and they head to the tenth floor. There, they ask for Jaehyun, Jungwoo and Taeil to stay downstairs for a while. Taeyong gives Jaehyun his credit card and tells him to order some takeout. 

Taeyong knocks on Yuta’s door, who comes out wearing his airpods. His face is instantly tinted with surprise when he sees Mark, Doyoung and Taeyong standing in the living room. 

“What’s happening?” he asks. 

“Can we talk?”

“Doesn’t look like I have much of a choice” Yuta comes out and sits on the couch. 

Mark is sitting beside him, but as far away as possible. Taeyong and Doyoung sit on the floor, facing them.

“Guys, I tried talking to you before and nothing changed,” says Taeyong. “So now we’re doing this the SHINee way. All in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah yeah i'm back one day later XD
> 
> if baekhyun sounds confusing it's because the situation is confusing. he's struggling haahahahha.
> 
> for the ones that read 'of black swans and red knots' they know exactly what the shinee way is. if you are curious, it's on chapter 4. it's when superm found out that taeyong and baekhyun hooked up in london (because ten caught them and confided in lucas).
> 
> anyway! i might come back tomorrow with another chapter. this story is making me anxious and i don't wanna keep anyone waiting.  
> ♥


	7. Make up

“Guys, I tried talking to you before and nothing changed,” says Taeyong. “So now we’re doing this the SHINee way. All in.”

“Huh?” goes Yuta.

“Oh, God. Not this again” Mark rubs his face.

“We’re basically gonna pour everything out,” explains Taeyong. “Complete honesty.”

“What is Doyoung doing here?” asks Mark.

“He’s my right-hand man.”

Mark squirms, uncomfortable on his seat. Yuta still looks confused, but Taeyong keeps going, sure that it will work. It has to.

“I’m gonna start by saying how shocked I was when you started fighting. And how sad it makes me that you can’t seem to make up” he says. “This can’t keep going. We need to solve it once and for all.”

“And that's why we are here. We are not leaving until we fix this” says Doyoung. 

“Come on, guys. You are best friends. What is happening?”

Silence. Mark and Yuta are looking in opposite directions. 

“Mark” Taeyong calls.

“Hyung, please” Mark shuts his eyes, pained.

“I’ll go,” says Yuta suddenly. He leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Mark complains whenever Winwin comes over and I’m honestly tired of it.”

“You guys are loud! It’s my room too!” Mark interjects.

“Is he supposed to interrupt me like that?”

“Let him finish, Mark,” says Doyoung.

Mark makes an annoyed grunt.

“And you are loud with Jungwoo all the time too. Don’t be a hypocrite” adds Yuta.

“What? I am not. You’re just mad because of Weekly Idol still, and I explained it to you multiple times...”

“Weekly Idol?” asks Taeyong.

“Oh, yeah, that. Remember how Mark picked Jungwoo as the one he’d miss most? He thinks I’m mad about it” says Yuta with pointed humor in his voice.

“You are though. That’s when you changed” Mark sounds hurt and he’s looking at Yuta for the first time. “And you know I picked him because he was on medical leave for six months and we all know how shitty it felt.”

“I don’t care you picked him.”

“You did say that it troubled you, on the show” says Doyoung, drawing a nasty look from Yuta.

“Well I don’t anymore. He can flirt with Jungwoo all he wants.”

“I don’t!” Mark is losing his bearings already. Taeyong can tell how Yuta affects him. “He flirts with me as a joke, he does it to everyone, including you.”

Yuta laughs with no joy. 

“To be fair, Jungwoo has a tendency to do that” shrugs Doyoung. “That’s just his thing.”

“Well, I’m sick of you two,” says Yuta. “Mark, you can flirt with whoever you want, I just asked you to give me space. And what did you do? You didn’t listen to me and you complain when Winwin comes over.”

“How can you complain about me flirting when you’re the one flirting with Winwin all the time?”

“So you can be mad at me flirting with someone else, but when I am upset it’s not important?”

Taeyong is starting to get a vibe with those two. It all sounds like jealousy to him.

“Hold up” Taeyong raises his hand. “I feel like now there are a lot of feelings overlapping. And you’re nitpicking over the parts that aren’t important.”

“I agree” nods Doyoung. “To me it sounds like you’re both jealous.”

It’s like Doyoung read his mind. Mark and Yuta seem taken aback by this, staring at him with disbelief.

“What I’m hearing is, everything was fine until Weekly Idol” says Doyoung, like he’s explaining a math problem. “Then Yuta stopped giving Mark his time of day. And Mark didn’t handle it well. I think you are mad at each other because you miss each other.”

Taeyong is looking at Doyoung with wonder. He did it.

“Am I close?” Doyoung asks.

Silence fills the room as the words sink in. Both Yuta and Mark seem deep in thought. For a moment Taeyong is scared Mark will start crying, he can see his eyes shining.

“Guys, we’ve been together for years” starts Taeyong, as gently as possible. “We can say anything and it’ll be fine. Let’s trust ourselves.”

Yuta sighs and is the one to speak first again, “It did hurt when Jaehyun said you liked Jungwoo more. It just made me feel stupid. And I tried to take it in stride, but I needed space, and you didn’t give me any. You kept pestering me.

“I wasn’t pestering you. I just didn’t want you to stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Being yourself around me. It felt like I was losing my friend.”

Yuta reaches out and puts his hand on Mark’s thigh, “You won’t.”

Taeyong and Doyoung trade a look, knowing instantly what is going through one another’s heads. That moment is far too intimate for them to watch. So they get up.

“We are going back to the fifth floor. You can come down when you’re ready.”

As soon as they step outside the apartment, Taeyong grabs Doyoung by the arm maybe a little harder than he should, out of excitement, pulling him into a hug. But Doyoung startles and tries to push Taeyong away. They end up in a playful struggle. Doyoung manages to pin Taeyong to the wall, arms pressed against his chest.

“What are you doing?” Taeyong is out of breath from laughter.

“What do you mean what am I doing? You started it.” 

“I was trying to hug you, you moron” says Taeyong, trying to break free. Doyoung falters and Taeyong turns them around, putting him against the elevator doors. “Got you.”

“Why do you wanna hug me?” Doyoung laughs, confused.

“Because you did it,” says Taeyong.

Doyoung becomes serious, eyes scouring Taeyong’s face, gouging the meaning behind his words. Taeyong lets him go and slides his hands around Doyoung’s neck. 

“Thank you.”

He’s about to kiss Doyoung's cheek when the elevator door opens up and they lose their balance, almost falling down. What makes it worse is the neighbour inside, that steps out eyeing them weird. They bow and say goodnight, holding in their chuckles until they are riding down to their apartment. 

Taeyong hugs his friend, close and tight. Doyoung settles against him, finally allowing himself to be pulled in without restraints. But they get to their floor and part, stepping out. Before they open the door to their apartment, Doyoung turns to him.

“ _ We  _ did it.”

Taeyong smiles. They go in to find everyone in the kitchen and living room, piles of takeout and drinks on the table.

“How did it go?” Jaehyun asks and all eyes are on the two of them.

“I think it’ll be okay now,” says Taeyong and the group lets out sighs and words of relief.

Taeyong and Doyoung settle down beside each other and dine with their friends. About half an hour later, Mark and Yuta arrive, and Yuta has his arm around Mark’s neck. Taeyong squeezes Doyoung’s knee under the table. Everyone welcomes them with cheers. 

Doyoung looks at Taeyong, half a smile on his face, in the midst of their closest friends having fun, talking and enjoying themselves. Taeyong realizes how happy he is in that moment. He rests his head on Doyoung’s shoulder and closes his eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realize now that this chapter is unusually small... goddamn kslahsjkahsjk i must have not noticed when i was dividing it up. oh well, not that it matters that much because soon there will be another one! ^-^
> 
> finally mark and yuta stopped fighting. if you catch that weekly idol episode yuta looks so disheartened, and mark looks super uncomfortable being put on the spot. anyways it was messy and it ended up making its way into the story haha. by the way i forgot to address it but i know yuta and mark dont room together, i changed it for the plot :P skajhsakjshlkaj (it might be useful later too, but you didn't hear it from me)
> 
> stay safe and healthy lovelies! thanks for those keeping up with my story vomit this week lol


	8. Hard truths

The dynamics between Mark and Yuta change completely, at least that’s what Taeyong notices. He can tell both are much happier than before. Furthermore, he can see the caring touches and whispered words at the ear. Before, they were already close, but now something was slightly different. It wasn’t as blatant and it somehow looked more intimate.

“What do you mean?” says Doyoung.

“I said I think they like each other, as in more than friends” explains Taeyong. They are drinking strawberry smoothies at the rooftop, enjoying the night breeze together after a day of practice for the midyear Music Bank special. 

Doyoung laughs.

“What? You don’t think so?” 

“I think it’s funny,” he answers. “Because it makes perfect sense that your mind went there. Since you and Baekhyun-hyung can’t seem to get off each other lately.”

Taeyong’s face heats up. He playfully hits Doyoung on the leg, “Stop.”

He can’t deny it though. Whenever they have free time, Taeyong and Baekhyun would meet up. And there are love bites as evidence to what they have been up to.

“Can you not” Taeyong says, hiding his blushing cheeks by looking away from Doyoung’s satisfied expression, always glad when he manages to get under Taeyong’s skin.

Just like on queue, Mark shows up, face fresh and hair wet from a shower. 

“Hey, hyungs.”

“What’s up, Mark?” says Taeyong.

“Uh, I wanted to talk to you, hyung,” Mark sits on the other garden chair, facing the two of them.

“I can leave,” says Doyoung, preparing to get up.

“It’s actually good that you are both here” Mark says. “Because of… our last talk.”

Taeyong and Doyoung trade a look. 

“Did something happen?” asks Taeyong.

"Yes."

"Bad?"

"No… Maybe. I don't know."

"Spit it, Mark" says Doyoung, assuming the tough cop role.

"Argh" he buries his face in his hands. "Last night, me and Yuta kinda… kissed."

Taeyong can sense Doyoung stiffen. 

"I don’t know what’s happening, I was never into guys or anyone, really…. Until Yuta" continues Mark. "I don’t know what to do."

"Well, did you like it?" asks Doyoung.

"Yes…"

"Was it your first kiss?" Taeyong wonders, unable to contain his excitement.

"Yes" Mark is completely curved into a ball and Taeyong sits beside him, putting his arm around him.

“That’s awesome, Mark” Taeyong rubs his back, encouraging.

Doyoung makes a weird noise, “Awesome?”

“What?” Taeyong frowns.

“It’s a complex situation.”

“Why?”

“Because they are bandmates.”

“Exactly” Mark’s head lifts up. “We share a room! And I don’t know what I’m doing…”

“You can switch rooms if you want. Go back to bunking with Taeil maybe?” says Taeyong. “And being bandmates is not a problem. Remember we know a couple in SuperM? They are perfectly happy.”

“Who?” Doyoung is suprised. “There is a couple in SuperM?”

There is actually more than one, but Taeyong isn’t going to out Taemin and Kai, Lucas and Ten, to him, so he just squints his eyes at Doyoung as a ‘shut up’.

“You are right, hyung,” says Mark, like a light bulb switched on over his head.

“Just take it slow, Mark. Don’t freak yourself out” smiles Taeyong.

Mark doesn’t say anything, but Taeyong can see his cheeks pinking up.

“It’s gonna be fine, I promise,” Taeyong insists, squeezing him tight, feeling weirdly proud. It’s like seeing his little brother growing up. 

“Thanks, hyungs” Mark gives a shy smile. “I’m gonna go down, I’m actually starving.”

When Mark leaves, Taeyong shoots an excited look at Doyoung.

“I was right!” he says. “I told you.”

Doyoung just rolls his eyes and Taeyong laughs.

“I never said you weren’t right about their feelings,” Doyoung says. “We all could see it. I just have my reservations about a situation like this.”

“Like what?”

“Two members dating, obviously.”

“I know people who do it and it's not an issue” shrugs Taeyong.

“I’ll believe it when I meet them” answers Doyoung, raising an eyebrow. “And you can’t deny it could become a clusterfuck."

"Any relationship can become a clusterfuck" counters Taeyong. "Relationships aren't easy."

"You know what I mean. Anyway, you are the worst person to give opinions about it.”

“Why?” Taeyong is surprised.

“Taeyong, let’s face it, your judgement is clouded because you are head over heels for Baekhyun-hyung, who just happens to be your SuperM bandmate.”

Taeyong straightens his eyes at his friend.

“Why are you bringing this up again? Are you jealous?” he teases.

“Jealous of what?” Doyoung laughs bleakly. “Isn’t he the same guy that left you for his ex?”

The joy in Taeyong’s throat dies immediately. What Doyoung said didn’t feel like a joke or a tease at all. Yet he seems unbothered and that annoys Taeyong even more.

“He didn’t leave me” Taeyong manages to say, but his voice falters. 

He thinks back to the night Baekhyun explained why he got back together with Chanyeol and how Taeyong didn’t even know how to react. He was never mad at what happened in the past between him and Baekhyun, but now, when Doyoung brings it up, for some reason it stings like a low blow. 

“It's not like you can say anything when you’ve never been in a relationship” says Taeyong, probably harsher than he should, feeling his face heat up with anger. 

Something flashes in Doyoung’s eyes and it looks like he’s gonna have a comeback for that.

“You know what, nevermind."

Before he can answer, Doyoung gets up and leaves. Taeyong is left there exasperated, wondering how a fun night turned so sour.

Taeyong gets back to the apartment a while later and doesn't see Doyoung for the rest of the evening. A bitterness has taken over his stomach and he doesn't feel hungry enough to eat anything. After a long shower, he sits at his desktop, puts on some music, tries to push down the uneasiness.

But he can't. His anger boils into guilt, and it just spreads like black tar over his every thought. It's late when he realizes that it will keep him up all night if he doesn't do something about it. So he drags his feet over to Doyoung's door and puts his ear against it. He can hear what's probably Netflix running, so he knocks. Doyoung invites him in.

Taeyong steps inside and stands there, feeling embarrassed and defeated.

"Hey" Doyoung pauses what he is watching. The lights are off and the only thing illuminating the two of them is the projector displaying the movie.

"Hey" says Taeyong.

They stay in silence for a while.

"I'm sorry for what I said," Taeyong starts, voice small, looking at the floor. "I don't why I lashed out."

"Come here" asks Doyoung, patting the place beside him on the bed.

Taeyong does as he's told, feeling better as they close the distance. Doyoung pulls the covers for him and he gets tucked in, lying on his side. 

"I shouldn't have said that either. Sorry" Doyoung pushes Taeyong's bangs behind his ear. "I want you to be happy and, if being with Baekhyun-hyung makes you happy, you should do that."

Taeyong doesn’t know what to say, but feels relief wash over him. He closes his eyes and leans into Doyoung's touch, who pulls Taeyong into a tight hug and kisses the top of his head. Doyoung smells like oranges and honey, an unexpected combination that, for some reason, comforts Taeyong a lot. 

Fast, he is slipping into a dream. In it, none of his bandmates can hear or see him. Taeyong wakes up in the early morning with a startle. His heart is racing until he feels arms around him, squeezing tight.

“Are you okay?” 

It’s Doyoung. Of course. For a second he completely forgets he passed out on his friend’s bed.

“I-” he starts but can’t find the words. “Just a weird dream. Did I wake you?”

Taeyoung pulls back to look at Doyoung’s sleepy face, his dark hair all over the place. It’s cute.

“No, I’m an early riser” he explains. “I just didn’t feel like getting out of bed.”

“Oh” goes Taeyong. “Sorry for falling asleep here.”

“It’s fine.”

They stay silent, staring at each other with drowsy eyes, heads resting on the pillow. Doyoung’s hand brushes over Taeyong’s arm gently, and suddenly he doesn’t feel like getting out of that bed either. Taeyong feels seen and comforted, and that’s exactly what he needs after that nightmare. 

“Thank you for saying that last night,” says Taeyong. “That you want me to be happy.”

“Of course I do” answers Doyoung. “It’s what all of us want.”

Taeyong interlaces their fingers together, then scours Doyoung’s face again. His dark eyes, his pink bow shaped lips, his fair skin. Everything about that familiar face makes Taeyong feel like home, like something warm blossoms in his chest, bursting alive. And he feels so grateful for it.

But before they can say or do anything else, the alarm rings, and they have to get up and face the day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first chapter where we see doyoung being truly sweet to taeyong :P ahahahahaha and that was after quite the jab, oh well. let's see what happens next.
> 
> baekhyun is back in the next chapter, in case you are wondering.
> 
> if you are curious, i wrote yumark's first kiss: [here it is.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27176477/chapters/66376133).
> 
> see you soon!


	9. Crossroads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we go

Taeyong is at SM when he gets a text from Baekhyun asking if he wants to eat something after his schedule is done. They decide to meet up for dinner and head to Baekhyun’s place. 

“Are you not coming home?” asks Doyoung in a whisper as they leave the practice room.

“I don’t think so,” says Taeyong. “We are grabbing a bite at the restaurant then going to his house.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow.”

They part ways and Taeyong texts Baekhyun asking where he is. 

_ BH: meet me at the parking lot. _

Taeyong finds that weird, but just shrugs and takes the elevator down. Maybe Baekhyun wants to eat at home. Taeyong puts his bucket hat and facemask on. He steps out onto the parking lot and looks around for him. The place is empty and silent. He checks his phone again and is about to text something when the elevator pings. But instead of Baekhyun, none other than Chanyeol and Sehun get out. Taeyong freezes. The two of them seem to not recognize Taeyong, until Sehun does a double take.

“Oh, hey, Taeyong-sshi” says Sehun.

“Hi, Sehun-hyung, how are you?” he bows and pulls his facemask down.

And then Taeyong turns to Chanyeol, who’s staring at him from his 1.85m height, an unreadable expression. Intimidated is not enough to describe how Taeyong feels.

“Hey” that’s all the EXO member says in his characteristic deep voice, before the elevator doors open again.

And obviously it’s Baekhyun that comes out.

Taeyong watches his face go through many different reactions in milliseconds, like slow motion. 

Chanyeol laughs bleakly, “Of course.”

“Hyung” Sehun whispers, worried. “No.”

“Good evening” Baekhyun finally says with a firm voice, stopping beside Taeyong. “What’s up, guys?”

Chanyeol’s eyes on the two of them makes Taeyong want to dig a hole in the ground and hide. 

“What a fortunate encounter” mocks Chanyeol. “I should have guessed you’d be back to your devoted dongsaeng.”

Baekhyun sighs. “Okay, I tried to be polite. Taeyong, let’s go” he takes his hand and starts pulling him towards his car.

“Sure, run away, that’s what you do best” he can hear Chanyeol say behind them.

Baekhyun stops abruptly and whispers, “Sorry. I’ll be right back.”

Taeyong watches him stride back towards the EXO members and grab Chanyeol by the arm, disappearing with him. Where they go, he has no idea. Sehun and Taeyong are left there, just standing around awkwardly. Sehun sighs and slides his hands in his pockets, starts walking towards Taeyong, who’s in the middle of the passage. 

“By the look on your face, I guess you weren’t expecting to see that,” says Sehun.

“Were you?” Taeyong asks, unable to take his eyes off his feet.

“I’m used to it,” he answers. “Watching them break up and make up over the years.”

Taeyong gulps.

“At this point they are like an old married couple” he keeps going. “I don’t think they can really be apart.”

“I wonder what that makes me,” says Taeyong, lump in his throat growing bigger and bigger.

“I’m sorry, Taeyong” says Sehun. “That you got caught in the middle of this.”

“It's okay" he answers, but it's not. He feels like crap. The last thing he wanted was to cause trouble and that's what he's feeling now, just like he did months ago when he and Baekhyun first hooked up.

"I'm not waiting for them here," says Sehun, checking his watch. "Do you want a drink or something?"

"I think I'm gonna head home, actually, but thanks, hyung."

Sehun squeezes Taeyong's shoulder once, then says goodnight. Taeyong waits another couple minutes for Baekhyun, which only makes him feel more stupid. 

When Taeyong gets home, his members just finished dinner and greet him casually. Except for Doyoung, who shoots him an intrigued look. Taeyong tries to play it cool and just heads to the shower. Peeling his clothes off and stepping under the water is amazing and exactly what he needs after what he's just been through. 

Taeyong is drying his hair when he hears a knock on the door. He opens it to find Doyoung standing there.

"Hi. Can I come in?"

He steps aside as an answer. They stand facing each other for a moment.

"You… are home" Doyoung breaks the silence.

"Yeah."

"I thought you would be at Baekhyun-hyung?" 

"Well, I'm not. Are you happy?" Taeyong snaps back before he thinks it through. 

"Why would I be happy? Taeyong, what happened?"

Taeyong sits hunched on his bed and covers his face with his hands. He doesn't want to cry in front of Doyoung, doesn't want to acknowledge the pain that's been growing in his chest because of what happened earlier. He tries to push it down, but when Doyoung sits beside him and puts his hand on his back, Taeyong feels hot tears escaping his eyes.

"Taeyong…" Doyoung pulls him against his chest. 

“It’s nothing” he says, his voice muffled. “I just feel so stupid.”

“Tell me what happened” Doyoung takes Taeyong’s face in his hand, wiping the tears away.

“I don’t know why I’m crying” he confesses, clutching at Doyoung’s shirt. 

“Come here.”

Doyoung lays down with Taeyong and hugs him close, running fingers through his hair soothingly. The embrace and caress, along with Doyoung’s scent, calms Taeyong quicker than he would expect.

“It’s just a ridiculous situation” he starts. “When I was leaving, I bumped into Chanyeol and Sehun. Then Baekhyun showed up. It was a hot mess.”

Doyoung stares at him with a worried frown. 

“I don’t know what happened between them but I don’t think it’s totally over” says Taeyong with a sigh. “Baekhyun left to talk to Chanyeol and I was literally just… standing there.”

A shadow passes Doyoung’s eyes and his breath picks up.

“It’s too fucking much, I didn’t sign up for this” Taeyong’s voice is barely audible. “He just confuses the hell out of me.”

“It’s okay” Doyoung goes back to brushing Taeyong’s hair lightly, his fingertips against his head doing wonders to calm him.

Taeyong loses himself in that touch and closes his eyes, trying to forget everything that happened, all the tumultuous thoughts inside his mind.

He wakes up to a startling alarm clock. It’s early morning and they have to get to practice. Taeyong hides his uninviting face behind shades and mask, hoping the other members don’t realize how bad his mood is. Except for Doyoung, who knows exactly how he feels. And Taeyong can sense his worried eyes on him all day. He realizes he has eight missed calls from Baekhyun and a couple texts saying sorry and asking where he is. That makes the pit in Taeyong’s stomach grow larger and larger, and he has no idea how to answer. He doesn’t want to ignore him but also doesn’t wanna talk to Baekhyun right now. He doesn’t have anything to say to him.

At the end of the day, when they are back home, Taeyong finally decides to call Baekhyun. He picks up after two rings.

“ _ Hey. _ ”

“Hi.”

“ _ Taeyong, I’m so sorry. _ ”

“Don’t need to say sorry. You did what you had to do.” 

_ “Can we talk? _ ”

“I thought you weren’t together anymore.”

“ _ We are not _ .”

“But you aren’t over either.”

The silence in the other end of the line is everything Taeyong needs to hear. 

“Baekhyun, I like you a lot. But this is too much for me to handle” says Taeyong. “I think I need some space.”

Baekhyun takes a while to respond. “ _ Yeah. I’ll... respect your needs. _ ”

“Okay. I’m gonna go.”

“ _ I’m sorry again. _ ”

Taeyong hangs up and feels his eyes burning. He gets in bed and just wants to sink into nothingness. 

When Taeyong thinks things can’t get worse, they do. His manager calls him into a meeting with some higher ups and he finds out that, yet again, amplified and crazy rumors about him surface, with the same informant now demanding money. It’s all over social media and Taeyong feels like he’s falling into an abyss, unable to see or hear anything while the others talk around him. There is mention of a lawsuit, but he can’t pay attention anymore. He’s completely drained emotionally and physically. 

At least his bandmates are there for him as always, to give words of comfort and hugs. Haechan even cooks him dinner, but Taeyong can barely have a bite to eat. He also gets a message from Ten asking how he is and if he can come over sometime. All of the affection he gets from his friends helps dull the pain and anxiety he’s been feeling. 

But still, Taeyong barely sleeps. He tosses and turns into the long hours of the night, and when he manages to shut his eyes, he is plagued with feverish nightmares.

He is barely holding himself together in practice when it happens.

Everything turns to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and scene. baekhyun got knocked out of the race by... himself.
> 
> sorry to the ones who were expecting an easy baekyong sail, but it's much more complicated than that. chanbaek have a lot of history which i actually have written (over 30k words from trainee days to 2020), including what happens when they disappear to talk here. the reason why i went on a posting spree was realizing how many people wanted them to be endgame and i didn't wanna make yall wait weeks just to see baekhyun crush taeyong's heart into pieces :P anyway, it's not that baekhyun doesn't like taeyong. but i'm a believer that you can like two people at once and he still has feelings for chanyeol, their thing still "holds power" over him. this whole scene is actually based off something that happened to me irl (i was taeyong in that hahaha).
> 
> here's a snippet of what happens when baekhyun leaves with chanyeol:  
> 
> 
> _“Baekhyun-”_
> 
> _“I can’t do this, Channie” he shakes his head. “Don’t make me do this, please.”_
> 
> _Baekhyun realizes his face is already wet with tears. He wiggles himself free of Chanyeol’s arms._
> 
> _“Taeyong is waiting for me.”_
> 
> _He doesn’t look at him as he leaves, wiping his face, starting to run to the elevator which thankfully is still waiting there. Running away from Chanyeol is so hard, even now. It’s almost impossible to resist him, it’s unfair. Baekhyun clicks the parking lot button, trying to get himself together. He doesn’t know what he’ll find there, so he readies his racing heart. He doesn’t even know what he feels, if he’s being honest with himself._
> 
> _Baekhyun leaps out, looking for Taeyong, but the parking lot is empty. He grabs his phone and calls, again and again, but nothing. That’s it._
> 
> _He lost him._
> 
> yep he knows he fucked up :( i'm honestly stuck in this chanbaek fic because it got real sad after this. anyway!
> 
>   
> another thing: can you imagine me back in june/july writing this and the whole ty scandal happening? i had no idea how to approach it so i did what i could and just mentioned it briefly. it was too frustrating/saddening as a fan to watch it all unfold and i wasn't gonna make anyone relive it here. the fact that i was writing about things that happened so close to present day made it trickier for me, even though i kept a timeline. it started to fry my brain at one point.
> 
> oh well here we are now. if you feel the need to drop the fic i totally get it.  
> and to team doyoung out there, they still have a journey to go through :)
> 
> kisses and hugs to all! ♥


	10. Retreat

Everything turns to black. 

When Taeyong comes back to himself, he is on a gurney, being wheeled into the hospital. He can hear Doyoung’s voice in the distance saying something he can’t understand.

Taeyong is barely aware while they go through the motions of examining him, taking his blood and an x-ray. 

Before he knows, he is in a hospital gown being tucked in a bed of a private room. He is left alone there, staring at the blank walls, feeling the back of his head throbbing with pain. 

Suddenly, Doyoung and his manager come in.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Doyoung takes to his side fast and grabs his hand.

“My head hurts. What happened?”

“You passed out during practice,” says the manager. “The doctor will be here soon.”

Taeyong looks from one to the other, but it’s Doyoung’s eyes that draw his attention more. They are so round and filled with something Taeyong’s never seen. Worry? Fear? He doesn’t know.

A young doctor comes in.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Lee. I’m Dr. Min” she says, reading his chart. “Good news is you don’t have a concussion.”

Doyoung sighs in relief.

“The bad news is, your blood work shows that you are slightly anemic and your stress levels are way too high. Have you been eating properly?”

“Er…”

“He hasn’t” interjects Doyoung. 

Taeyong shoots him a look, “I’ve just been busy” he tries to explain himself.

“I see... We are keeping you here overnight to keep an eye on you” says Dr. Min. “And I highly recommend you don’t skip meals anymore, Mr. Lee. I’m also prescribing mandatory rest” she looks at the manager when she says this. “I’ll make sure the nurses bring you something good to eat.”

She leaves and their manager follows her out, asking more questions.

“Fuck” says Taeyong, throwing his head back and closing his eyes.

“You scared the crap out of me,” says Doyoung, half mad. “You scared the crap out of all of us. You just collapsed in the middle of the room.”

“Well it’s not like I meant to.”

“I know. Does your head hurt?”

“Yes.”

To Taeyong’s surprise, Doyoung picks up his hand and deposits a short kiss on it. Taeyong examines him before scooting to the side.

“Get here” he asks.

“What?”

“Don’t just stand there, lay with me” insists Taeyong.

Doyoung does as he is told and Taeyong rests his head on his shoulder. They interlace their hands together. 

“Maybe now’s the time for that luxury retreat” he says, throwing back to when Doyoung joked about it.

“If there’s anyone that deserves it, it’s you” Doyoung says sincerely.

“Thanks” Taeyong closes his eyes and they just stay like that until Doyoung has to go back to the dorms. 

Being alone in the hospital is not so bad. He is on painkillers and he watches TV, something he never does. It’s stupid fun. He naps and eats a lot, and manages to forget everything that has been weighing on him lately.

He gets discharged the next day and Doyoung brings him a change of clothes. It’s a rainy day. Their manager is driving them back to the dorms, when he informs Taeyong that it was decided it would be better for him to skip the mid-year Music Bank presentation and take some days off. He wants to protest, but he feels Doyoung’s eyes on him and decides to be quiet.

“Where is everyone?” asks Taeyong when they get home.

“Practicing.”

“Why are you not with them?”

“They’ll survive without me.”

“And I won’t?”

Doyoung pauses, both of them standing in the middle of their apartment, looking at each other.

“You’ve been through a lot in a short amount of time, Taeyong” he finally answers. “Will you just let me be here for you?”

He takes a while but says, “Okay.”

“Then let’s have lunch.”

They eat and then clean the dishes together. Doyoung suggests they watch something and lets Taeyong pick. He chooses one of his favorite movies, Howl's Moving Castle. They lay on the bed and enjoy the afternoon, rain hitting lightly against the window. When the film is over, Doyoung puts something else and before Taeyong realizes, he is napping. 

It’s Jaehyun who wakes them up, after the group is back from SM.

“I’m okay, it was just a bump,” explains Taeyong.

“Everyone is worried sick about you.”

“Well, call everyone here. We can order something” says Doyoung.

“On it” says Jaehyun, leaving the room.

During dinner, everyone is showering Taeyong with attention, making him feel a bit shy, but grateful, knowing that they care so much. They were already informed that Taeyong is going on vacation, so they take the time to enjoy each other’s companies. 

“So you’ll do my verse?” asks Taeyong.

“Yep” answers Jaehyun.

“And Yuta is doing the dance break?”

“He is” Jaehyun smiles. “He nailed it today.”

“What? Did someone say my name?” asks Yuta.

“I said you did great,” smiles Jaehyun.

“Oh, I thought you were bad mouthing me to Taeyong” Yuta mocks.

“Shut up” laughs Jaehyun.

Later, when everyone’s gone to their rooms, Taeyong starts packing his bag. Unlike his first reaction, now he is excited for his vacation. He gets to spend time with his family and have some deserved rest, away from the stress and the hectic routine he got so used to. 

Taeyong is closing his suitcase when Doyoung shows up.

“Hey. Everything packed?”

“Almost” Taeyong answers. 

  
Doyoung sits down on the bed, wearing the biggest white t-shirt that rides down his shoulder a bit. 

“I’m not sleepy at all, so I came to bother you,” he says. “It’s your fault I napped almost all afternoon.”

“How is it my fault?”

“You fell asleep and I couldn’t help but join you in dreamland. It’s contagious” he jokes with a straight face.

Taeyong smiles.

“Just admit you like sleeping with me.”

“Never. You snore and kick.”

“No, I don’t” laughs Taeyong, crawling over to him and resting his hand and head on Doyoung’s knee.

“Okay, you don’t” Doyoung looks down at him with lidded eyes. “You are actually more cuddly than I thought.”

“See? I’m the best cuddler.” 

“Don’t get too full of yourself. Jungwoo is also great at cuddling.”

“You guys cuddled before?”

“A couple times. Ukraine is cold, you know.”

“But he is taller than you, and I’m shorter. I bet you like me best” Taeyong smiles wide.

Doyoung laughs, then runs his hand through Taeyong’s blue hair, “Okay. I like you best.”

They fall silent, eyes on each other. Taeyong wonders if Doyoung is just being extra nice lately because of everything that went down. Doyoung could be quite abrasive if he wanted, and it isn’t news that they bicker a lot. But now that he needed someone by his side, Doyoung didn’t hesitate to be there every step of the way, even when Taeyong didn’t think he needed any support.

So, instead of telling him like a normal person would, Taeyong jumps Doyoung, tackling him onto the bed. 

“Taeyong, what the hell” laughs Doyoung, trying to wiggle himself free.

Taeyong laughs along and then falls to the side, but still holds onto him. He doesn’t say anything, buries his face in Doyoung chest, feeling the familiar honey scent from his lotion. Doyoung doesn’t protest, just wraps his arms around Taeyong. They stay there, hearing nothing but the sound of their breaths, feeling nothing but the warmth of their bodies, until they fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will you guys believe me if i say a plot point was sending taeyong and doyoung to a luxury retreat since the start of the fic and then taeyong ACTUALLY GOES TO A LUXURY RETREAT IRL? skjahslkjahksaj istg. so i ended up changing the plot because of it. oh well, we adapt to reality don't we, gals.
> 
> next chapter is a doyoung pov chapter! the only one, though, but it may shed some light into his mind and heart.
> 
> hope whoever's left likes it! ♥♥  
> be safe.


	11. Missing him

Doyoung takes a deep breath. For some reason, he is extra nervous today. Probably because NCT 127 is about to perform without their leader. During Taeyong’s absence, his duties passed onto Doyoung and Jaehyun, and he is feeling weird about it. Maybe not weird, but hollow. The entire crew is somehow disjointed, their morale low. They miss him.

Doyoung misses him.

It’s strange to even realize that. They’ve been together since before debut and of course both of them had vacations. But now it weighs so heavily on Doyoung in a way it never has before. He feels so many things and he doesn’t necessarily want to show or deal with them. And he actually needs to be focused on the present and his members, not Taeyong. So Doyoung takes another deep breath and clears his mind before they step onto their interview and stage. 

Everything goes great, way better than expected. They congratulate each other after, exastatic, and Doyoung hugs Jaehyun tight, letting him know he did amazing. They take the group picture on the stairs and Johnny hugs the empty space indicating their missing leader. 

At home, they toast with soju and beer. Contrary to what some may think, Doyoung can actually hold his liquor well. It's good because he's never out of it too much and if he needs he can keep an eye out for the others. During the years, he has taken care of many members who had a little bit too much to drink on occasion.

The night advances while everyone has fun. Doyoung is sitting on the floor by the window, keeping an eye on everything but not really participating. He can see Mark being pulled to Yuta's lap and comfortably settling on him. Doyoung can't deny they look good together, but he still worries. He can also notice Jaehyun watching the two of them, sipping on his drink. Does he think he is discreet? 

"Jaehyun" he says.

His friend looks at him and Doyoung calls him closer with his finger. Jaehyun goes to sit beside him, shoulders brushing. 

"What's up?"

Doyoung shoots a look at Yuta and Mark. 

"Shut up" laughs Jaehyun.

"You can't hide from me," says Doyoung.

"Don't start…"

Doyoung grins, "You're obvious as always."

Jaehyun shrugs, "Mark is one lucky guy. No hard feelings."

"You never made your move" mutters Doyoung.

"It's fine. I just find him incredibly hot, I don't need to fuck him" whispers Jaehyun. "What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. It's been a while, right?"

"Are you offering?" jokes Doyoung with a straight face.

Jaehyun elbows him, "Idiot."

"It's what you deserve."

"You and Taeyong seem… closer" ponders Jaehyun, peeling the label off his bottle.

Doyoung frowns, "What do you mean?"

"Just lately, you two seem more intimate" says Jaehyun and Doyoung is just staring at him bewildered. "It's not a bad thing, especially now that he needs it. You two looked cute napping together the other day."

"Cute? Are you calling me and Taeyong cute?" says Doyoung. "Who are you and what have you done to Jaehyun?"

"Ah, shush, you" smiles Jaehyun. 

"Are you getting old and sappy on me?"

"Maybe."

They laugh.

"Taeyong's got other things and people in his mind though," says Doyoung. "I assure you it's not me."

"Hm" Jaehyun is looking at him suspiciously, but drops the subject.

After the tenth floor crew goes back, Jaehyun stays behind to help clean things up with Doyoung. When Haechan finally passes out, Johnny joins them.

“Did you give him something for the hangover?” asks Jaehyun.

“Yes. Our poor maknae still needs to figure out his drinking limit” he says affectionately.

When they are done tidying up, the three of them sit on the couch to relax. Johnny turns on the TV, but Doyoung is too distracted to pay attention and Jaehyun is scrolling through his phone. He is on Instagram when Doyoung realizes something.

“Wait, what’s that” he asks.

Jaehyun thumbs his screen down, pulling the last video, “It’s Chanyeol-hyung doing the Candy Challenge.”

Doyoung watches as Baekhyun and Chanyeol sit next to each other and dance, looking very cozy and friendly. While Jaehyun giggles at it, Doyoung feels a pit crack open in his stomach. Taeyong was right. Baekhyun and his ex aren’t over. At least, that’s what it looks like. Doyoung wonders if Taeyong saw that. It had been posted a couple days after the “incident” of the three of them bumping into one another at SM. 

“I’m going to bed,” he says, getting up. He doesn’t wanna think anymore, so the best answer is to fall asleep. “Goodnight, guys.”

Doyoung gets ready for bed and tucks himself under his covers, pulling them tight, trying to find some comfort. But his skin feels prickly and his mind is filled with unwanted thoughts. He can't seem to stop thinking about Taeyong. He takes his phone and goes over the last messages they traded, where Taeyong explained the signal there was really bad. It's not like Doyoung wanted to keep texting and annoying him on his vacation. That's not like Doyoung at all. 

But he also doesn't understand why the leader's absence is making him so uneasy. Like something popped out of place. 

When Doyoung finally sleeps, it's restless, and he wakes up the next morning feeling drained.

He eats some breakfast, then some of the members go shopping for Taeyong's birthday presents.

"What does he want?" wonders Yuta.

"What does he need?" replies Jaehyun.

They keep talking but Doyoung's mind is miles away. He's combing his memory for something to give to Taeyong. 

Then he passes by a store and pauses, an idea coming up. The group keeps walking, except for Jaehyun.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm going in here. I'll meet you guys later" explains Doyoung. 

Jaehyun makes a curious face, but turns and rejoins the others.

Doyoung spends one hour browsing items in the store for the perfect present. 

When he reunites with the rest of the group, they are mostly done shopping and want to grab something to eat. 

"So" says Jaehyun with a low voice. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

They are sitting next to each other at the restaurant.

"I did."

Jaehyun smiles.

"What?" Doyoung asks. "Don't start."

"I didn't say anything" but Jaehyun's face speaks volumes.

Doyoung rolls his eyes, "Don't get stupid ideas either."

Jaehyun laughs and leaves it at that.

Later that night, Doyoung tucks the box inside one of his drawers, well hidden until Taeyong comes back.

Somehow, he grows even more restless as the days go by. The night before Taeyong's birthday, when he is supposed to get back home, Doyoung can barely sleep. 

It's no surprise when Doyoung freezes in the living room as he hears the door opening. Johnny and Haechan get up to greet Taeyong, helping him with the suitcase and hugging him tight. Doyoung just stands back, watching the scene, feeling totally entranced. When Taeyong's eyes stop on him, Doyoung's heart skips a beat. He looks… different. 

"Hey" says the leader, coming closer.

"Hi."

When Taeyong smiles, it brightens the entire space. Because Doyoung is speechless, he just pulls him into a hug. He can smell Taeyong's characteristic lavender scent and it's so comforting, Doyoung lets a small sigh escape, that he hopes no one notices.

"Tenth floor crew is coming!" informs Haechan excitedly.

Taeyong and Doyoung break away and he can see a faint blush on the leader's cheeks. He pushes that thought aside. Soon everyone is there, showering Taeyong with affection, gifts and questions about his vacation. He says he watched the performances and compliments them. 

At night, they go out to a nice restaurant to celebrate and stay there for hours, talking and laughing. The group is back together, no puzzle piece is missing, and it’s like all bad things can finally be left behind. Doyoung is enjoying himself and particularly enjoying seeing Taeyong so happy. 

But he still needs to give Taeyong his gift.

Doyoung second guesses his choice and thinks maybe he should return it and get something else, as he takes it out of his drawer and gathers courage to knock on Taeyong’s door. He takes a deep breath and repeats to himself that it’s not a big deal.

“Come in” says Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! double update this week.
> 
> it's a cliff hanger but it's okay because the next one comes soon enough, right? :P ahahahahahhaa
> 
> what did you think of doyoung's head? he's pretty confused, poor baby.
> 
> i'm so excited to share what happens!!!!!
> 
> see you soon ♥


	12. Birthday gift

“Come in,” says Taeyong, as he finishes typing a tweet on the NCT 127 account. He presses send and turns around to see Doyoung, wearing that comically large white t-shirt, coming into his room and closing the door behind him.

“Busy?” he asks

“No,” smiles Taeyong, sitting on his bed and patting the place beside him. 

Doyoung sits. He seems a bit jittery. 

“What’s up?”

“I brought you something.”

“Oh really? I thought you forgot to get me a gift” mocks Taeyong.

“Shut up” Doyoung rolls his eyes.

“I wondered why you didn’t give me anything earlier while literally everyone did” Taeyong laughs. “Saving the best for last?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” sighs Doyoung. “I just didn’t wanna do it in front of everyone.”

Taeyong scours his friend’s impassive face, but something is slipping through the cracks of his mask. Nervousness? His eyes stop on Doyoung’s bare shoulder for a second too long, before continuing.

“Well, I’m waiting.”

“I remembered something you wanted,” says Doyoung, taking it out of his pocket. “Not exactly it, but...”

Doyoung deposits a box on Taeyong’s hand. It’s small. Cartier’s. He opens it, revealing a pair of white gold rings, with an interesting design. He is left gaping, no words.

“They aren’t customized as you wanted though,” says Doyoung.

“I love it” Taeyong manages to say. “I thought you didn’t want to. You never gave me your ring size.”

“I changed my mind.”

Taeyong looks at Doyoung’s serious dark eyes for a moment and feels something run over his skin. He blinks twice and comes back to the present, taking one of the rings and putting it on his index finger. Then, he takes the other one and slips into Doyoung’s hand. Taeyong examines it.

“Who would have thought you have good taste, Kim Doyoung.”

“I can’t believe you” Doyoung gasps and tries to push Taeyong, who grabs his wrist quickly. 

Then they are wrestling, throwing arms to see who can topple each other first. They are laughing like kids when Taeyong pins Doyoung to the bed.

But when they are done panting, something shifts. They are close, Taeyong’s body in between Doyoung’s legs, warm skin brushing together. Doyoung’s face transforms and Taeyong grows serious. He scours his friend’s expression, trying to read him, read the seconds, read the moment that is unfolding right in front of him. He feels himself blushing and lets go of Doyoung’s wrists, burying his face on the pillow, right next to him.

Doyoung’s hands hesitantly touch Taeyong’s shoulders and he answers by capturing some strands of his black hair in between his fingers. His heart is hammering against his chest and he can hear Doyoung’s breath picking up. They stay still for a while, suspended in the kindled embrace.

They are both shaking as Taeyong moves his lips to Doyoung’s exposed collarbone. He’s scared, his skin is prickling with electricity, his stomach is filled with butterflies. The touch makes Doyoung sigh lightly and Taeyong keeps kissing him, slow, going up the curve of his neck. He reaches Doyoung’s jawline and he can see him with his head thrown back, mouth slightly parted, eyes closed. His fingers sink deeper into Doyoung’s hair and he’s ready to kiss him on those cherry lips he always found so beautiful.

“Taeyong, stop,” says Doyoung suddenly.

In a second, he is sitting back up and Doyoung does the same.

“We shouldn’t.”

“Shit. I’m sorry” says Taeyong, devastated. “I got carried away.”

“We both did” sighs Doyoung, rubbing his temple. “I should go to bed.”

And like that, he’s gone. There is cold emptiness in his chest where before there was golden warmth.

What the fuck has he done?

Not only did he try to kiss his best friend, he got incredibly turned on. He is still turned on. But also very much embarrassed by what happened. It is a weird mix he doesn’t remember experiencing before.

Taeyong tries to sleep but all he does is toss and turn thinking about Doyoung’s skin on his lips. 

He half-expects everything will be better in the morning. It’s not. 

So he expects it will get better with the passing days. It doesn’t. At least not for him. Taeyong is troubled. He can’t erase the feelings he got having Doyoung underneath him like that, being so close to kissing him. They cuddled many times, but it never took a turn into the more-than-friends territory. At least, he thought it didn’t, now he’s not so sure. In his mind, he can’t stop thinking about what-ifs. What if Doyoung didn’t stop them? How would kissing him feel like? What if he tried again? Taeyong knows he’s letting anxieties drive him insane and that it’s not good, that he should let it go. But he can’t. It’s keeping him up at night and he needs something else, something more, an answer. The worst part is Doyoung acting as nothing happened, he seems perfectly fine, and that only adds to Taeyong’s nervousness.

He can’t take it anymore and he decides to visit Doyoung’s room to finally face whatever comes his way. 

“Hey,” says Doyoung.

“Hey” Taeyong stands around fidgeting with his sleeves. “Can we at least talk about the other night? I don’t want things to get weird between us.”

Doyoung raises one eyebrow, “Why would they get weird?”

Taeyong just stares at him, astonished.

“We almost kissed.”

His friend sighs, “Then don’t make it weird. Let’s forget about it.”

A tiny needle pangs at Taeyong’s heart. He takes a second too long to come up with words.

“You can do that? Just forget you almost kissed your best friend?”

“Not if you bring it up” Doyoung comments off-handedly. 

“I can’t believe you.”

“What? That I’m being rational about it?” Doyoung manages to stay calm while Taeyong’s bearings start crumbling.

“Well, yeah,” says Taeyong trying to hide the upset tinge in his voice. “Maybe I don’t wanna be rational about it. Maybe I still want…”

“Taeyong, don’t say it” Doyoung interrupts him.

“Why?” he presses.

“Because it’s a terrible idea.”

Taeyong can’t believe the lump in his throat could grow any bigger. It’s almost keeping him from breathing, but he manages to keep going, “Why?”

“Well, first of all, we are bandmates. That in itself is already a minefield.”

“That’s bullshit,” he says. “I told you multiple times I know a happy couple in SuperM. We have our own here in NCT 127!”

“You keep saying that but I don’t believe you. And Mark and Yuta aren’t a proper couple.”

“Yet.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes.

“Anyway. Are you forgetting Baekhyun-hyung? Whom you just got out of whatever you had?” points Doyoung, raising his eyebrows. “Taeyong, you are my friend, but I don’t wanna be the rebound you use to get over some other guy.”

That shuts Taeyong up. Pain is flaring up his chest with full force, like a bursting volcano, scorching all his ribs. Doyoung seems to notice this instantly, getting up and taking Taeyong’s hands.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, please” says Doyoung. “I’m just trying to be logical and honest.”

He gulps, “It’s fine. I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

“Taeyong…”

“I’m okay”

He leaves as quickly as he can, but not running because that would look stupid, even if he wants to.

Taeyong makes sure to lock his door before throwing himself on his bed, arm over his face. He tries to calm his breath, fighting tears that are burning in his eyes. He doesn’t understand why everything hurts so much, his chest, his stomach, his throat, his head. 

Everything Doyoung said makes sense. It is unfair to put Doyoung in that position, just because of a one time slip up that now Taeyong isn’t even sure was mutual. Maybe he is projecting his own wants and needs onto his friend. Maybe he is doing exactly what Doyoung said, looking for a rebound. Taeyong sighs loudly, unable to understand the turmoil inside him, while tears finally stream down.

He welcomes the darkness and dullness of sleep when it finally comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hear me out  
> in the original draft of this, doyoung gets them sterling silver rings, hence the title of the fic. but then after I'm already posting it doyoung comes and FINALLY GIVES TAEYONG THE GODDAMN RIGS HE WANTED KJSAHLSJKASHJKA and he gifts them the Cartier rose gold ones. istg when I was searching for rings I came across them and my thoughts were: isn't this a bit too expensive? maybe I should pick something more affordable LMAOOOOOOOOO YET DOYO SPARED NO EXPENSE ON HIS GIFT FOR TAEYONG SKAJSLHJKSAL  
> so, in conclusion, I made it the Cartier model but changed the color otherwise I'd have to change the title of the fic which was already being published. and white gold looks like silver so it works just fine for the "aesthetic" lol.
> 
> ANYWAY   
> poor taeyong, it wasn't this time that you landed your man :(  
> let's see what happens next!  
> ♥


	13. Game over

Taeyong’s feelings of disconnect don’t go away easily. He starts getting awkward around Doyoung, even if that’s the last thing he wants. Whenever they are near, Taeyong gets flustered. He tries his best to hide it and to keep a reasonable space between them, while Doyoung remains completely unphased. And not wearing their matching ring. That actually hurts Taeyong’s ego more than he’d like to admit. So Taeyong decides to do what he does best, which is throwing himself into the things he likes. Particularly things that get him out of the house, like making music and dance practice.

It’s the end of the day when Taeyong realizes he’s being watched by none other than Jaehyun, standing by the door of a practice room at SM.

“How long have you been there?” asks Taeyong, turning off the music on his phone.

“A while” he answers, smiling. “I was around and I knew you were practicing, so I thought I’d drop by.”

“How did you know I was here?” 

“Doyoung told me.”

Taeyong frowns. He has no idea how Doyoung could have known that. They traded only a couple of casual words with each other since their last conversation. But Taeyong decides to not dig into it.

“You done?” asks Jaehyun. 

“Actually, yes. Pretty tired.”

“Let’s grab a drink” suggests Jaehyun. “What’s that place you and Ten love? With the strawberry smoothies? I’m craving some.”

“Sure.”

Taeyong packs things up and they ride over to the place. They settle at a table with their drinks and sit in silence for a while. 

“Are you okay, hyung?” Jaehyun asks.

“Yes. Why?”

“I don’t know. You seem different since you came back from vacation” says Jaehyun, looking at Taeyong carefully. “I couldn’t help but notice that your mood seemed to change after your birthday.”

Taeyong slurps on his smoothie, buying himself some time. 

“I'm alright, I guess” he shrugs.

Jaehyun tilts his head, “Hyung, you know you can come to me for anything, right?”

He is pressing all the right buttons and Taeyong knows he is being lured into Jaehyun’s sweet trap. The problem is he really wants to talk about what happened and Ten hasn’t been answering his texts, probably busy with a schedule or Lucas. It wasn’t unusual for him and Ten to have a hard time meeting up.

Taeyong sighs, “Okay. Promise me you won’t say anything to anyone.”

“I promise” Jaehyun’s eyes shine with victory.

“Me and Doyoung, we-” starts Taeyong. “We almost kissed.”

Jaehyun’s face morphs into excitement even as he tries to hide it.

Taeyong doesn’t realize he's been playing with the ring on his finger.

“He stopped things before that, though,” says Taeyong, sounding more disappointed than he’d like. “Then when I tried talking to him about it, he said that us being bandmates is a minefield…”

“Doyoung said what now?” Jaehyun interrupts. 

“That because we are bandmates, it’s a bad idea.”

Jaehyun laughs and shakes his head.

“What?” asks Taeyong.

“Okay, don’t ever repeat this,” says Jaehyun, leaning forward. “But me and Doyoung, we used to hook up.”

Taeyong’s brain freezes. He can’t process what he just heard. He analyzes Jaehyun, looking for the humor in his posture, but there is none. 

“Hook up?”

“Yes. As in, we used to fuck” states Jaehyun very clearly. “It was our little secret. We did it for years, occasionally.”

“Like… casual?” asks Taeyong.

“One hundred percent casual” answers Jaehyun. “So Doyoung telling you that sounds like a cop-out to me.”

Taeyong’s still trying to wrap his head around Jaehyun and Doyoung fucking every so often for years.

“Why did you stop?” he asks, curious.

Jaehyun shrugs, “It happened naturally. Last time was more than a year ago.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just shocked that I never noticed anything” Taeyong blinks a couple of times, feeling stupid.

“We were discreet. We didn’t want anyone to know. And we were good at not being loud.”

“Oh, Jaehyun” Taeyong covers his face.

Jaehyun laughs wholeheartedly, “But I also have a feeling you are not just looking for a fuck with him. Am I right?”

Taeyong blushes and stares at his hand, the one with the ring.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“Maybe that’s why he said that.”

“There is something else,” says Taeyong. “And you can’t judge me, okay?”

“This is a judgment-free zone” smiles Jaehyun, gesturing around them.

“Not that long ago I was hooking up with someone else,” says Taeyong. “And Doyoung said he doesn’t wanna be a rebound.”

“Ouch” Jaehyun makes a pained expression. “Did you like that person?”

“I mean, I did” sighs Taeyong. “But I wasn’t… in love with him.”

“Sex was good?”

“Not only that. He was very caring when I really needed it. But everything else was a complicated mess and I took myself out of it.”

“Sounds like you made the right choice” nods Jaehyun. “Look, hyung, I can’t speak for you or Doyoung. But it sounds to me like you aren't looking for a rebound. And that Doyoung is being a coward. Let me guess, is he hiding behind the ‘I am rational’ schtick?”

“How did you know?” gasps Taeyong.

“Because that’s Doyoung!” giggles Jaehyun. “He hides his feelings. Unless he is singing, of course. That’s his release.”

“You actually make sense, Jaehyunnie.” 

“I know” he winks. “You can use my knowledge at any time you need.”

Taeyong laughs, “Okay.”

They finish their drinks and Taeyong feels so much better. It’s like the sky is clearing after days of heavy clouds. There is a path in front of him and he intends to follow it. 

Taeyong gets back home and steps in the shower, scrubbing away the day. He lotions up and then slips into comfortable clothes while gathering every ounce of courage to face Doyoung. Giving one last look at his reflection, he goes over to his room. He knocks. No answers. He knocks again.

“Looking for Doyoung?” asks Johnny, who suddenly appears behind him.

“Yeah.”

“I think he’s reading at the rooftop.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks.” 

Taeyong steps into the elevator feeling his stomach floating up and out of his body. He needs to constantly remind himself to keep breathing. His thoughts are erratic, words, and phrases he wants to say, all cut up and jumbled up. But he’s not backing down. His volition is strong and unbeatable right now. Taeyong steps out to find the terrace covered in the usual fairy lights, sun now long gone. The city skyline is sparkling as always. He looks around for Doyoung and finds him in a corner, elbows propped up on the railing, admiring the view. He is wearing that dumb white t-shirt again, the one that’s too big for him. Taeyong takes a couple of steps towards him.

“Doyoung.”

His friend turns around, black hair flowing with the wind. He is surprised to see Taeyong, who just takes a second to admire how beautiful Doyoung looks against the landscape. His skin softly illuminated by the lights, his pink lips, his dark eyes behind his glasses. Taeyong realizes he is staring like an idiot and comes back to himself. 

“Did something happen?” Doyoung frowns. “You don’t look so good.”

“Jaehyun told me about you guys.”

Doyoung’s face turns sour.

“What?”

“I don’t care that you two hooked up,” adds Taeyong. “I just wanna know why him and not me.”

Doyoung turns away, refusing to look at him, “I can’t believe this.”

“How could you say that to me when you spent years hooking up with a bandmate?”

“Because it’s different,” says Doyoung. 

“Different how?” insists Taeyong, feeling his heart beating a thousand miles an hour.

“I can’t risk losing you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE TRUTH IS OUT!!!!!!! what do you guys think? is doyoung a hypocrite?
> 
> this is short and ends abruptly but don't worry, next chapter comes soon!  
> be safe ♥


	14. Rain

“I can’t risk losing you.”

The words strike Taeyong like a trainwreck. Doyoung is staring at him dead serious now and Taeyong thinks his lungs might stop working completely. He needs to force some air inside before closing the distance between them. He stops close, maybe too close, caging Doyoung against the railing. He takes Doyoung’s hands in his and realizes they are both shaking. Taeyong has a hard time looking at his face.

“You’ll never lose me.”

The wind is picking up speed now, howling in their ears. Doyoung is staring at him slightly shocked.

“I don’t need a rebound” Taeyong keeps going, trying to remember the words he wants to say. “What happened that night is about you and me. Not anyone else.”

Taeyong steps a bit closer and their foreheads touch. Doyoung closes his eyes and gasps. 

“You’re my best friend” Doyoung finally says and his voice is heartbreaking. “I can’t do this, Taeyong.”

Feeling Doyoung’s breath fan against his face, being so close, but not as close as he wants, hurts so much. Hearing those words hurts even more. Because Taeyong understands him well enough. A part of him feels the same, afraid of it, of his growing feelings for Doyoung. But there is also a part that screams that this is right, that there is nothing more right for them. And having both of those realizations at the same time, knowing there is no wrong or right path, that both are valid, is what makes Taeyong step back and let go of Doyoung.

“Sorry,” says Taeyong, resigned.

“No” answers Doyoung. “I am.”

Doyoung passes him and leaves.

Taeyong closes his eyes and exhales very deeply, his chest scorching with pain. He doesn’t know how much time passes as he just breathes, fighting against the inevitable flood of emotions.

And just as he feels a tear escape, the rain starts pouring on him. He looks to the sky and doesn’t know whether to laugh or keep crying. 

“Taeyong.”

He thinks he’s hallucinating, that the wind called his name. Taeyong turns around and sees Doyoung standing behind him, soaking under the rain as he is. With that stupid t-shirt riding down his shoulder. Taeyong feels himself welling up and bites his lower lip. Doyoung takes one, two, three, four, five steps. He takes Taeyong’s face in his hands, whose tears are pouring out freely now, mixing with the rain. 

“Okay?” asks Doyoung.

All Taeyong manages to do is nod. And Doyoung leans in and presses their cold lips together. He can feel every inch of his skin lighting up, reacting to the kiss, as a shudder travels his body. Taeyong’s hands wrap around Doyoung’s waist, pulling him closer. They stop a second only to kiss again, this time deeper, and it’s like a billion supernovas explode in Taeyong’s gut. He opens his lips to Doyoung and their tongues brush softly, and that’s when Taeyong realizes he doesn’t regret this one bit, won’t ever regret it, because it feels so right, it feels like diving in the ocean on a summer’s day. 

Doyoung pushes him against the railing, and they are falling into the kiss, suddenly their bodies are not so cold anymore and the rain barely noticeable. Taeyong’s head is in the clouds. Doyoung’s kiss is nothing like he expected, a mixture of tender and tough that is starting to drive him insane. He is just melting under it, not wanting to part.

Unfortunately, they do, both in need of a deep breath.

“Let's get inside,” says Doyoung.

“Yeah,” says Taeyong and he realizes his chin is trembling.

Their hands stay clasped together as they get into the elevator, when they reach the apartment and even as Doyoung pulls Taeyong along to his room. There is no sign of Johnny or Haechan. When they finally stop is the moment Taeyong realizes how cold he is and how completely soaked his clothes got. He’s hugging himself and shaking all over. Doyoung leaves his glasses at the bedside table and turns back to Taeyong.

They look at each other in the half-lit room, dripping all over the floor. A chill runs down Taeyong's spine under the stare Doyoung is giving him with his dark lidded eyes. Taeyong takes off his own shirt and closes the distance between them, grabbing the hem of Doyoung’s, who lifts his arms so he can be undressed. Wrapping his hands around his neck, their noses brush lightly before Taeyong kisses Doyoung again. Their naked torsos against each other are already heating up much better without their damp clothes. Doyoung sighs and runs his fingers over Taeyong’s waist, their mouths molding together with urgency. Taeyong, who's just a couple centimeters smaller, tilts his head back a bit.

After only a few minutes, he’s left panting, hot breath fanning on Doyoung’s skin as his friend starts kissing down his jaw. Taeyong’s fingernails sink into his back involuntarily, looking for purchase. He bites his own lip to prevent a moan from coming out as Doyoung nibbles the curve of his neck. Taeyong is hard before he even realizes it, his mind drowning in a desire so strong like it’s the first time he’s ever touched or been touched. Without thinking twice, he slides his hands to Doyoung’s sweatpants and grabs the laces that tie it firmly at the hip bones.

Doyoung takes his wrist.

“We don’t have to” he whispers.

“I want to.”

That changes something in Doyoung, pushing the second-guessing aside finally, and they strip down to their underwear. Doyoung picks Taeyong up and puts him on the bed, lying in between his legs. He scours Taeyong’s face before diving for another heated kiss that only escalates by the second, a bottomless hunger slowly taking over the both of them. They need each other, need the touch, the connection, it’s clear and showing in every movement of their bodies. When Doyoung finally ruts his hips against Taeyong’s, a hitched moan can’t help but escape his throat, while he throws his head back. Doyoung keeps going, silencing Taeyong’s noises with kisses. 

Taeyong grabs Doyoung’s hips, pulling him even closer, the contact not enough to placate his lust. He tentatively hooks his finger in Doyoung’s underwear, waiting for permission to keep going. Doyoung stops the kiss to look at him.

“What do you want me to do?” he whispers.

Taeyong is surprised because he’s never been asked that question. It’s obvious that Doyoung wants to make sure they are on the same page for whatever comes next.

So Taeyong musters all the courage he can and says with a hoarse voice, “I want you to fuck me.”

Doyoung’s eyes glint. Taeyong blushes. Doyoung gives him a kiss and gets up, rummaging through his drawers for lube and a condom. Taeyong takes off his underwear, deciding he is done with it. Doyoung does the same before coming back to bed. He lays on top of Taeyong again and kisses him, hand sliding down his chest and abdomen slowly, until it reaches Taeyong’s cock. He hisses at the touch, seeing stars behind his eyes. When he tries to do the same for Doyoung, he grabs Taeyong’s wrists and puts them above his head, securing them with the other hand. Taeyong looks at him kind of outraged, but Doyoung just grins and nibbles his lips, distracting Taeyong immediately. He keeps jerking Taeyong off slow and steady, a maddening and teasing pace.

Finally, Doyoung stops and spreads some lube on his fingers, and Taeyong opens his legs wider. He can feel a slight tremble on his limbs, not from the cold like before, but a reaction from the barrage of sensations he is under. Doyoung kisses Taeyong as he slides his hand down and starts working him open. He’s taking his time, making sure Taeyong is relaxed enough before taking each step. Taeyong barely feels any pain, on the contrary, he is drowning in the pleasure of having something rubbing just shy of his prostate, while Doyoung kisses his lips, his cheeks, his jawline, his earlobe. 

Taeyong is feeling drunk on all of it, trying to keep his moans and pants low enough, and he can almost taste his orgasm, when Doyoung stops and sits on his heels, rolling a condom on and coating it with lube. Taeyong’s breath is uneven and puffy as he watches Doyoung’s naked torso towering over him. He looks so different now, Taeyong can barely believe it’s the same guy he’s known for so many years. Doyoung stares down at him, dark eyes set aflame.

“Tell me if it hurts” he whispers.

Taeyong just nods, bracing himself. He feels the familiar burn as Doyoung sinks in, but there’s no pain. Doyoung stops when he’s all the way in, giving time for Taeyong’s body to adjust. His fingers caress lightly at Taeyong’s hip bones, like a small token of worship. Taeyong opens his eyes to let Doyoung know he is okay. 

So Doyoung delicately picks Taeyong’s legs and joins them together, pushing them to the side and against Taeyong’s chest. Doyoung holds under the knees with one arm as he lays on top of him. Just the movements of them adjusting positions send electric shocks through Taeyong’s entire body. He’s surprisingly sensitive today. Doyoung starts fucking him slowly and Taeyong wraps his arms around Doyoung, clutching his dark hair in his fingers, delighted at the feeling of their shapes together. 

Taeyong never fucked in that position so he is not prepared for it to be way better than average. It somehow hits all the right spots and that has him throwing his head back against the pillow and fighting his moans in no time. He bites his lower lip as Doyoung picks up the pace, steady and relentless, sending Taeyong into another dimension, but still keeping him on the edge enough so he won’t peak too soon. 

He’s already seeing stars, his skin is glistening with a light coat of sweat when Doyoung adjusts himself minimally and starts hitting Taeyong’s spot entirely. He almost screams and his eyes fill with tears at the flare like there’s a storm inside him. Taeyong can’t control his own noises now as he feels his high coming. His hands hold Doyoung even tighter and Taeyong cries out when all the lights in the universe disappear for a second, then explode in the back of his eyes while he cums. It’s long and Doyoung keeps fucking him through it, riding it out until it’s over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aya! there we go!!! not only they kissed, but they kissed in the rain alksjalksjalslkja YES I LOVE THIS CLICHE AND I'LL USE IT WHENEVER I WANT! 
> 
> I put so much thought into this scene, I really wanted it to be a good first kiss/time for dotae T-T ♥♥♥ (it was the first dotae scene for me too)  
> I hope you guys liked it!  
> be safe ♥


	15. Together

When they’re done, Taeyong thinks he might pass out. They are both panting and shaking, trying to even out their breaths. Doyoung is kissing Taeyong’s collarbone lightly, as a couple more tears roll down his face. He has no idea why that’s happening. It’s a reaction he didn’t see coming and couldn’t control. After a while, Doyoung pulls back, but Taeyong still can’t move or open his eyes. He can faintly feel and hear Doyoung roaming around, cleaning him up, pulling the covers over him.

Taeyong has never been fucked senseless. Literally. Until now. 

So it’s no surprise Taeyong realizes he fell asleep when Doyoung gets back in bed with him. Taeyong blinks a couple of times and pulls him closer, giving him a peck on the lips.

“Are you good?” asks Doyoung.

“More than good” Taeyong says, sleepy. 

Doyoung strokes his cheekbones with his thumb. 

"I hope we don't get a cold" whispers Doyoung.

Taeyong smiles, "Kissing in the rain. What a sappy idea."

"Truly something out of a drama."

They laugh. Taeyong admires Doyoung's smile, while he plays with his black hair. 

"I think I got too loud" Taeyong bites his lower lip, embarrassed.

"You did" Doyoung's eyebrow shoots up. "Lucky for us no one is home."

Doyoung slides his hand on Taeyong's naked back and kisses him.

"How did you and Jaehyun keep quiet?"

"I gagged him."

"What?" Taeyong laughs nervously.

Doyoung joins him, "Of course I didn't. He used to bite down on stuff though. Pillows, sheets, shirts."

"Damn" grins Taeyong. "I'm kinda jealous."

"Why?"

"Of all the fun I was missing" he teases, capturing Doyoung's bottom lip.

"It's not like you didn't get laid."

"Not like this" admits Taeyong. 

Doyoung's eyes glint. "Well, me neither."

Taeyong feels butterflies in his stomach hearing that. He leans in for a kiss that deepens quickly, Doyoung rolling on top of him.

They are in the throes of it when someone knocks on the door. Their reaction is fast, jumping apart, Doyoung springing out of bed and grabbing pieces of clothing from his closet. They start dressing up quickly.

"Who is it?" asks Doyoung.

The doorknob turns. Doyoung powers up his projector.

"Doyoungie, why are you locked in there?" Haechan asks.

"Watching a movie," he says finally opening up the door. "What's up?"

Haechan peeks inside and sees Taeyong sitting on the bed.

"Johnny-hyung ordered dinner, are you guys hungry?"

Doyoung looks at Taeyong.

"Sure!" he gets up with a smile on his face.

They walk out and find Johnny and Jaehyun setting up the table. Jaehyun does a double-take and smirks at Taeyong, who can't help a slight blush heating up his cheeks.

  
  


Later, when Taeyong is brushing his teeth before bed, Jaehyun barges in and closes the door behind him. 

"You guys fucked" he whispers excitedly.

"What?" mumbles Taeyong with a mouthful of foam.

Jaehyun gloats, "You can't hide it. I've seen what Doyoung looks like after sex. And you too, damn, you are glowing!"

Taeyong rinses his mouth. "You are having way too much fun with this."

Jaehyun giggles. "I won't tell anyone. I promise. I'm just happy for you."

"Well, you helped, so thanks," says Taeyong.

"Don't thank me. Tell me how it was."

Taeyong bursts into laughter, "What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna assume it was good" Jaehyun's eyebrow shoots up. "But how good? Did he fuck you? Did you fuck him?"

“Jaehyun” Taeyong runs a palm over his face but concedes. “He fucked me. It was… very good. Why are you interested?”

“I’m just curious” he shrugs, clearly having fun. “We used to switch a lot. How does it work for you?”

“I guess it depends on the person” reflects Taeyong.

He never really thought about it, because that wasn’t something he did a lot. He just usually went with the practical and fast choice, and it didn’t involve more than blowjobs or handjobs. Sex that actually had penetration was something rare that he had with few people: two fellow trainees - a girl, a boy - his hyung Baekhyun and now Doyoung. Being with a woman had been good but overall strange. And the other trainee was someone he hooked up with a couple of times but didn’t have great memories with. It had been his first time doing anal and it didn’t go very well, which prompted him to not seek situations that could lead to it.

“I just felt safe enough to go for it” he shrugs, realizing Jaehyun has been staring at him while he’s been silent.

“Safe? Taeyong...” Jaehyun put a hand on his arm, comforting. “What do you mean?”

“Like sometimes you don’t wanna be vulnerable and risk getting hurt?” he says. “And sex makes you like that.”

Jaehyun's eyes dart all over Taeyong’s face. “Yes, it does.”

“I don’t usually do that part, until the last person I was seeing. And now Doyoung” he explains. “I think it’s because I liked them both, so I felt comfortable enough to try.”

Jaehyun still seems a bit stunned. “Come here.”

Taeyong is pulled into his friend’s arms, clueless as to why he’s being hugged tightly. He just giggles and hugs back. 

“You should tell that to Doyoung,” he says.

“Okay.”

After Jaehyun says goodnight, going back to his floor, Taeyong waters his plants in his room, humming to himself. Someone knocks and he feels like it’s Doyoung.

Taeyong turns around to find out he’s right. He can’t help the huge smile when he sees him, wearing the matching ring no less. 

“What’s up?” he asks his visitor.

“I wanted to talk,” Doyoung says.

They sit on the bed.

“So…” starts Doyoung. “How are we going to do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Jaehyun and I were strictly casual. The couple you claim exists in SupermM is happily together. Mark and Yuta are… Mark and Yuta” he laughs. “What about us?”

Taeyong ponders. “What do you want?”

“Me? I-” Doyoung stares at the sheets. “I’m not sure. I’ve never done anything but casual. You know how I feel about having a relationship with a band member.”

Taeyong is a bit crushed by that. Doyoung seems to notice this and grabs his hand, scooting closer.

“But I’m not completely opposed to it,” he says, staring into Taeyong’s eyes sincerely. “Not anymore.”

Taeyong opens a faint smile. “I’m not gonna lie, Doyoung. This wasn’t just sex for me.”

Doyoung stops breathing suddenly. “Okay.”

“Do you think, maybe, we can just be us and see where it goes?” Taeyong proposes.

“Be us? What does that mean?”

“Be ourselves and not overthink it.”

“You’re asking me not to be rational about it.”

“Exactly” laughs Taeyong.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I know I do that” Doyoung sighs. “I just need to put things in a box. I need structure.”

Taeyong leans forward and gives him a peck on the lips. Doyoung slides his arms around Taeyong, pulling him towards the bed. They lie down, intertwined, kissing lazily. 

“Sleep with me” whispers Taeyong, sleepy.

“But the others…”

“No one’s gonna notice,” he says. “Or care.”

Doyoung huffs a laugh, rubbing his nose on Taeyong’s. “Okay.”

Taeyong smiles and kisses him again, then Doyoung turns off the light on the bedside table and lies on his back, while Taeyong pulls the covers over them.

“Can you sleep without your stuffed animal?” he asks, burrowing his face into Doyoung’s chest.

“I have you, don’t I” Doyoung kisses the top of Taeyong’s head.

And like that, feeling happiness blooming in his chest, mixed up with the weariness of the day, Taeyong falls asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn't post because I've been feeling anxious today, but I managed to! yay! I think the next one is only coming in a week because I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with life in general.
> 
> this chapter is just a short aftermath between them. see, doyoung didn't run away, even if he's a bit scared :)
> 
> stay safe ♥


	16. Pillow talk

Taeyong and Doyoung try not to make it obvious that something between them has changed. They don’t overdo the skinship, they don’t sleep together every night, and when they do, they try to get in and out of each other’s rooms after everyone is asleep and before everyone wakes up. They keep to their usual downtime summer routines, doing their own things, but also squeezing moments to hang out. They also decide to hide Doyoung’s ring in a necklace around his neck, because matching rings between just friends gave off a different impression than matching rings between whatever they are now. Certainly not just friends anymore. 

“I have something to tell you,” says Taeyong.

They are on Doyoung’s bed, spending some time together. Taeyong has been thinking about what Jaehyun told him for the past couple of days and decides he should just tell Doyoung about it. Doyoung, who was just posting on Bubble, puts his phone aside.

“That sounds ominous” answers Doyoung, lifting his eyebrows.

“It’s not a big deal,” Taeyong smiles. “Just something that I told Jaehyun.”

“Hm,” Doyoung is paying undivided attention.

“He came to talk to me after… that day” begins Taeyong. “He figured out what happened. He said he knows what you look like after sex.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes. “Of course he did.”

“Yeah” continues Taeyong. “I told him I don’t actually have a lot of experience… in what happened that day.”

“What do you mean?” Doyoung looks confused.

“Whenever I had sex, it was mostly blowjobs and handjobs,” he says, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “I usually don’t do anal.”

“Oh,” Doyoung frowns. “Is that… I mean. Were you okay with us doing it?”

“Of course” assures Taeyong. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.”

“You don’t like it? It’s fine if you don’t like it” adds Doyoung quickly. “We can do other things. You can top, I don’t mind.”

Taeyong holds Doyoung’s face between his hands and kisses him. “I liked it.”

“Okay” nods Doyoung. “I just want you to be comfortable.”

Taeyong smiles. “You are only the third guy that fucks me.”

“Third?” Doyoung seems shocked by that. “And here I thought you were sleeping around.”

“Shut up” laughs Taeyong. “I did sleep around when I had time. Just not how you imagined it.”

“So, me and…?”

Taeyong presses his lips in a line.

“Baekhyun. And an old fellow trainee, I don’t know if you remember him.”

Doyoung is looking at his eyes, from one to the other and back, face impassive.

“You have nothing to be jealous of,” Taeyong assures, intertwining their hands.

Doyoung gives a choppy giggle. “After everything that happened, it’s hard not to get mixed feelings thinking about you together. But I’m glad you are telling me this.”

“Jaehyun said I should,” says Taeyong. “I guess it’s a good idea to be transparent about this kind of stuff.”

“It is” agrees Doyoung. “I’m actually curious now. Why didn’t you do it more? You didn’t like it?”

“Well, I was hooking up with that trainee,” says Taeyong. “And eventually it happened. But it wasn’t good at all. He didn’t stretch me properly, it was painful and uncomfortable, I couldn’t even cum. For a long time, I thought that was just how it was, so I didn’t wanna do it.”

“That fucking sucks. Who is this guy again?”

“He left for Big Hit, I think” shrugs Taeyong. “I stopped seeing him after what happened though.”

“As you should,” says Doyoung. He brushes Taeyong’s cheek lightly. “I’m sorry you went through something like that.”

Taeyong smiles and leans in for a kiss. “Now you tell me everything.”

Doyoung laughs. “Okay. Well, you already know half of it.”

“I want details.”

“I’ll go from the start. I didn’t really do anything during my school years, I was interested in other things” starts Doyoung.

“Yep, me too.”

“After graduation, I actually had a crush on a trainee girl,” he says with humor. “We made out a couple of times, but that was it.”

“Really? I had sex with a girl once. Also during our trainee days.”

“Which one?”

“I think her name was… Sujin?”

Doyoung sits up.

“Are you joking?”

“No” Taeyong laughs. “You don’t mean…”

“It’s the same girl.”

“Oh my God. No way.”

“So you are the reason she dumped me, good to know” jokes Doyoung. “I was listening to sad songs for a whole week…”

Taeyong rolls around cackling on the bed.

“Okay, I wasn’t, but that’s just the weirdest coincidence.”

Taeyong wipes his tears and pulls Doyoung back down. “Tell me about you and Jaehyun.”

“Right. It started after our debut when we were done promoting 7th Sense” he says, taking Taeyong’s hand in his and playing with it. “Jaehyun and I were hanging out one night, we had had a couple of drinks… And it kinda just happened, we kissed.”

“Out of nowhere?”

“Well, out of a place of being young and horny and slightly attracted to each other,” says Doyoung. “You can’t deny Jaehyun is handsome.”

“He is.”

“That’s how it started. It was awkward at first, we pretended nothing happened. But we kept repeating the dose and things kept escalating” explains Doyoung. “So one day we sat down and talked it out, made everything clear, and established the casual thing that went on until last year.”

“Were you with anyone else during those four years? Damn, that’s long.”

“No.”

“Was he?”

“I think so, with one of his 97s friends. Maybe Jeongguk?” Doyoung is lost in thought. “I know he had crushes, he would tell me about it. We could be with other people if we wanted. I just wasn’t interested in anyone.”

“It’s such a different experience from mine. Trying to wrap my head around it” says Taeyong.

Doyoung smiles at him and they stay silent a bit, while Taeyong thinks it through.

“I’m happy now, though” adds Doyoung in a low voice.

Taeyong bats his eyes at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And it’s different.”

Taeyong’s heart skips a beat. He wiggles closer to Doyoung, putting a hand underneath his shirt, stroking his back gently.

“It’s different for me too,” he whispers.

They stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, until Taeyong leans in for a kiss. They brush their lips softly. Taeyong bites into Doyoung’s lower lip, then licks it, teasing him. Doyoung grabs Taeyong by the nape, crashing their tongues together. They get breathless very fast, sinking deep into the sensation of the kiss. Taeyong slides his hand down the curve of Doyoung’s ass, pulling his body close. His dick starts filling up in no time, and so does Doyoung’s - he can feel it over his sweatpants.

They haven’t had sex after the first time, mostly because the right moment didn’t present itself. The past couple of days they were focused on 127’s fourth year anniversary, their manager was around a lot, and late at night, they were content with just sleeping after a long day. But now that passed, and Haechan and Johnny were in their room playing Overwatch, probably with the volume turned very loudly.

They both know it and they don’t really need to verbalize their increasing desire, as they make out heatedly, bodies clinging together. Taeyong is starting to rut against Doyoung thigh, alleviating some of the pressure in his cock, when Doyoung pulls back.

“Do you wanna top?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some insight into taeyong and doyoung's past experiences :) I'm actually trying to write a dojae pwp to post on the extra chapters fic, I'm just not very satisfied with it yet. if you are interested you can subscribe or bookmark that! 
> 
> I'm also gonna start posting the chanbaek story soon, where we understand how baekhyun and taeyong first got together in London (not endgame but still hot lmao) and what really happened between baekhyun and chanyeol that night. i was gonna do it yesterday but I got a terrible migraine out of nowhere and now I only have time to update this.
> 
> and next we'll see if taeyong is ready to try something new in bed with doie!
> 
> I'm gonna try to post another chapter this week, it's all up to my mood. root for me! 
> 
> be safe everyone ♥


	17. A you thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: if for some reason top ty bothers u just skip til the *.

“Do you wanna top?” Doyoung asks. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Taeyong thinks it over. “Let’s try. Just guide me through it.”

Doyoung answers with a sweet peck on his lips.

They keep kissing and undressing. Then, Taeyong fists Doyoung’s cock, coating his hand with precome and jerking him off. He hums, eyes fluttering closed, and does the same to Taeyong. They are panting, breaths fanning on each other’s faces when Doyoung stops and he reaches for lube and condom. He rearranges himself on the bed, puts a pillow under his hips, opens the bottle, and pours it on Taeyong’s hand. 

“Rub your fingers a bit” he instructs, voice soft and hoarse.

Taeyong obeys.

“Can I?” he asks.

Doyoung nods. Lying on his side, Taeyong reaches for Doyoung’s ass and starts rubbing circles hesitantly, trying to remember what it was like when it was someone else doing it on him. Doyoung sighs, relaxing under the touch. Taeyong smiles, depositing small kisses on his jawline. 

"You can put one finger in," he says.

Taeyong does so, his middle one. Doyoung's face scrunches up a bit.

"Okay?" 

"Yeah. Don't stop" says Doyoung.

He starts moving his hand, watching Doyoung open up to him. He's fascinated by his expression, his soft hums, the slight tremble of his frame. When Doyoung tells him to, he adds another finger.

“Curve them up a bit” he instructs breathlessly.

“Like this?”

Doyoung pants and nods. Taeyong’s fully focused on him, his fingertips now agile and sure. Soon, Doyoung opens the wrapper and helps Taeyong roll the condom on. He gets in between Doyoung’s legs, supporting himself on his elbow while grabbing the base of his cock and lining up. This part he’d done before, but in a completely different circumstance: with a woman. He’s feeling nervous again. But Doyoung starts running his hand up and down his spine slowly, in a comforting manner. Taeyong starts pushing in and realizes how much resistance there is.

“I don’t think I prepped you enough,” he says, looking at Doyoung, who has his eyes closed. 

“You did” he answers. “Don’t be afraid to push in.”

Taeyong trusts him and tries again. The tip slips in and both of them gasp. It’s very tight and completely different than being with a girl. Taeyong lets his head hang on Doyoung’s chest and holds his breath as he sinks into Doyoung, who wraps his legs around him. When he bottoms out, Taeyong exhales deeply, feeling himself trembling on top of him. 

Doyoung kisses the top of his head. Taeyong holds him tight and kisses the curve of his neck, starting to move slowly. Doyoung’s body is so hot underneath him, it’s like a blazing pyre. They cling together and Taeyong’s eyes are rolling to the back of his head, breath escaping him with every thrust, heat building up in his every bone. It’s so good inside Doyoung that he feels he’s gonna drown in the pleasure soon. It’s like a fever, a storm bursting through his body. Taeyong picks up his speed naturally and he hears Doyoung’s sweet moans increase in volume. That only adds to the flare simmering in his belly, bringing him closer to his peak.

“Fuck” he mutters against Doyoung’s skin. “I’m too close.”

Doyoung pulls his head up for a kiss. He slides his hand between them and tugs at his cock.

“Just fuck me” Doyoung pants out.

Taeyong sinks his fingers into Doyoung’s skin with urgency as his pace increases, and they are moaning together, feeling each other unravel under the barrage of sensations. Doyoung has his lower lip caught between his teeth, trying to keep down the noises. Watching him squirm only takes Taeyong farther into his euphoria and he moves his hips faster and harder.

“Tae-” is all Doyoung says before he’s moaning and spilling his cum in between them.

Taeyong finally lets go and orgasms with a gasp, never taking his eyes off Doyoung’s blissed-out face. 

He is breathless when he collapses over Doyoung's chest, feeling completely drained. But at the same time, he is filled with all the right things. It’s like his chest is shining a bright warm golden light that encompasses both of them. They stand still inside of it, sheltered from the world outside. Taeyong loves that moment so much he wants to stop time, he wants it to not be over, ever. 

*

Their breaths even out and Doyoung starts caressing the top of his head. Taeyong looks at him, both with half-lidded tired eyes. They smile at each other. Doyoung gives him a kiss.

Taeyong pulls out and sits back, while Doyoung picks up wipes and hands him some. They clean themselves and throw the condom in the garbage. Taeyong lies back down beside him, clinging close. Doyoung wraps his arms around Taeyong.

“Do you think they heard us?” whispers Taeyong.

“Only if they got out of their room,” says Doyoung. “Let’s hope they didn’t.”

They chuckle.

“How was it?” Doyoung turns around to look at him.

“Pretty amazing” answers Taeyong. “But I think that’s a you thing and not a top thing.”

Doyoung shakes his head and kisses Taeyong’s forehead. “Shut up.”

Taeyong laughs.

He’s so happy.

Doyoung makes him so happy.

The next day, Doyoung leaves for his hometown to be with his family and so do the other members that can. Taeyong himself spends some time at home. He rests and enjoys moments with Ruby and his relatives. The two of them text every day, at least a couple of messages. But Taeyong still misses Doyoung.

He goes back to the dorms before Taeyong, who still stays a couple of days at home. He returns the day before his next SuperM schedule. He steps inside and sees his roommates sitting around the kitchen table. Doyoung catches his glance and Taeyong just wants to run and hug him. Instead, he approaches everyone slowly. 

“Hi, guys.”

“Welcome back” greets Johnny.

“Taeyongie-hyung!” shouts Haechan.

“Hey” Doyoung is holding back a smile, Taeyong can tell.

“What’s up?”

“Actually, manager-hyung stopped by and left some things at my room for you,” says Doyoung, getting up.

“Oh, sure, let me see it.”

They head in and as soon as the door is closed, Doyoung is pushing Taeyong against it, mouth on his. Taeyong responds instantly, parting his lips, letting their tongues meet with urgency. Their hands are on each other, fingertips searching for skin. 

“I missed you,” Taeyong says breathlessly when he’s coming for air. 

“I missed you too,” says Doyoung, resting his forehead against Taeyong’s. “I meant what I said though, manager-hyung really did leave some papers for you.”

Taeyong smiles, glad that Doyoung decided to put them in his room.

“Here” Doyoung pulls him by the hand to his desk. “I think it’s about your schedule for the next days. Just stuff you need to know.”

Taeyong examines them briefly as Doyoung sits in his bed. When Taeyong turns to him again, he sees his distant eyes and knows instantly something is wrong. He already suspects what.

"Baby" he calls, sitting down beside him. "Talk to me."

"Did you just call me baby?" Doyoung turns around.

"Oh. Sorry. Is that bad?"

"I… kinda liked it."

Taeyong smirks.

"Just don't get used to it or you'll call me that in front of everyone and how will you explain that?" he teases.

"I guess I'd have to tell the truth," Taeyong answers, wrapping his arms around him.

"Hm," Doyoung nuzzles Taeyong's cheek.

A moment passes.

"Tell me."

Doyoung sighs. "I'm sorry. It's stupid."

"it's not stupid for me." Taeyong looks at him seriously.

"I knew this was inevitable and I tried to prepare myself for it. But yeah. SuperM."

Taeyong knows what he means. He's talking about Baekhyun. And how Taeyong is about to start shooting a reality with the group tomorrow, spending some days away from the dorm.

"I just can't stand the idea of you being in an uncomfortable situation" he adds. "And I'd be lying if I said it doesn't make me a bit insecure."

"It's gonna be fine," says Taeyong, taking his hand. "I already have a plan. I'll talk to him, make sure everything is fine, so we can work together well.”

Doyoung is staring at their hands intertwined. "Okay. Sounds good."

Taeyong kisses his cheek long and sweet.

"I'm actually starving," he says.

"I can cook you something" offers Doyoung.

Taeyong smiles. "Thanks."

They kiss.

  
  


It’s past midnight when Taeyong sneaks into Doyoung’s room.

“What are you doing up still? You have an early morning” says Doyoung, worried.

“Can’t sleep” he answers. “Can I stay here?”

Doyoung taps the place beside him. Taeyong jumps on the bed, snuggling against him, breathing in his scent. Doyoung kisses the top of his head.

“What will I do with you, Taeyong.”

“Spoil me.”

Doyoung laughs. “Okay.”

The next morning, Taeyong is up early for his day with SuperM. He can’t pretend he is not nervous to see Baekhyun again. But he is also excited to see the other members. He missed them.

And when he meets Baekhyun, it’s clear that he feels the same. The EXO member has a nervous smile, so Taeyong approaches to greet him and give a brief hug. 

“Can we talk? Before the cameras start rolling.”

“Yeah, let’s get over here” Baekhyun leads them away from the rest of the group.

“I-”

“Taeyong-”

They speak at the same time. Taeyong giggles nervously.

“You can go first,” he offers.

“Okay,” Baekhyun says. He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry for everything.”

Hearing that pulls at Taeyong’s heartstrings a bit. Baekhyun seems very disheartened, which is weird because he is used to seeing his hyung’s funny or loving side.

“It’s fine. I mean it.”

“I didn’t want to drag you into that mess…”

“You didn’t drag me. We both made a choice” says Taeyong. “And I think things turned out the way they should have.”

“You do?” Baekhyun stares.

Taeyong nods. “I just want everything to be okay between us from now on, hyung.”

“That’s what I want too.”

Baekhyun stretches his hand towards him. Taeyong takes it.

“You are amazing,” says Baekhyun, rubbing his thumb against his skin. “And you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

“Baekhyun! Taeyong! We’re leaving, hop on the van!” says one of the managers.

They obey. Taeyong sits beside Mark and enjoys a little nap until the booby-trap game starts.

The day goes surprisingly well, with the group’s chemistry at its finest. He and Baekhyun don’t take long to get comfortable again and Taeyong is thankful for that because they are in front of the cameras and need to look their best. 

Everything is great until it happens. 

Taemin is in charge of pairing people up to sleep on the camping trailers and he goes from one end to the other putting together those who are sitting side by side. And Taeyong is sitting next to Baekhyun. They show no reaction and continue with the schedule as if nothing happened. Taeyong and Mark need to apply facemasks on each other and when they are done, Baekhyun quickly gets in the trailer and falls asleep. Taeyong tries to act naturally in front of the camera that’s still recording them, but in his mind, he’s wondering how he’s gonna tell Doyoung he shared a bed with the guy he used to fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there we go. ty tries topping. for a couple people it was shocking, but now it's properly tagged like it was suggested. in the verse series as a whole, all couples are switchers to a degree, even if I don't write the scenes for it, except for luten, and that's because lucas falls 100% on the dom/top side of the spectrum. he's the only one tho. 
> 
> anyway I just thought it was a realistic narrative choice for taeyong who's kinda discovering a new facet of sex to try something new with the person he trusts the most. although it's not explicitly said, I'm hoping that's what it's coming across in the story? hahaha. it's all about intimacy in the end and he has it with doyoung, that's the point of the smut here, not just pwp.
> 
> well I hope that if you hate top ty you just skip it and continue happily without reading it! no harm done
> 
> I'm aiming to finish posting this before the year ends, along with the [chanbaek](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27623033/chapters/67582310) one that I already began updating, so be ready for my crazy sprints of chapters :P
> 
> see you soon and be safe! ♥


	18. Accidents

It’s late when Taeyong comes home and gets in the shower, washing away the tiredness from his body and relaxing under the water. After, he dries his hair and puts on his pajamas, then heads to Doyoung’s room, hoping to find him still awake.

He’s watching a drama in the dark.

“Hey,” Taeyong says, walking towards the bed and taking his place beside him.

Doyoung pauses the episode. “How was it?”

“Everything went fine,” Taeyong says with a heavy sigh. “I’m exhausted though.”

“And… Baekhyun-hyung?” Doyoung looks at him.

“We patched things up” Taeyong can see the worry in his eyes. He takes his hand and kisses it. “I told him things turned out how they were supposed to.”

“You did?”

“Yeah” nods Taeyong. “But… I have to say something and you need to believe me.”

“Okay” blinks Doyoung.

“We had to share a bed in the camping trailer. Nothing happened. He fell asleep before I even laid down, I swear” Taeyong spews everything at once, wanting to get rid of it like a bad taste in his mouth.

It’s obvious by Doyoung’s eyes that he doesn’t like what happened, but his face is calm.

“I believe you and I trust you,” he says slowly and Taeyong can breathe again. 

Seconds of comfortable silence pass, as Taeyong watches Doyoung’s figure, poorly illuminated by the light of his projector. Taeyong sits up and straddles him, taking his face in his hands. Doyoung stares deeply into his eyes before Taeyong leans in to kiss him. It’s soft at first, velvet lips enveloping each other. Doyoung’s fingertips rub against Taeyong’s skin under his shirt, giving him goosebumps. 

Soon, their makeout session turns feverish, and Taeyong presses his hips on Doyoung lap, pulling a sigh out of both of them. He rests his forehead against Doyoung’s while his fingers sink into his shoulder for purchase. Taeyong rolls his hips again and moans softly. Doyoung squeezes him at the waist tight.

“I missed you” Taeyong whispers against his mouth.

“I missed you more,” says Doyoung. 

They rip out their clothes quickly. Taeyong craves his touch, being flesh to flesh. He just wants Doyoung close, as close as possible, as fast as possible. Doyoung seems to understand his urgency and grabs the lube to start prepping him, while Taeyong jerks him off slowly. They are getting each other off with their hands, unraveling under the increasingly intimate touches.

“I’m ready” Taeyong whispers in Doyoung's ear, nibbling it a bit.

Doyoung rolls a condom on and coats it with plenty of lube, then he holds Taeyong by the hips, helping him position himself. Taeyong gasps at the familiar burn, which isn’t bad at all. He realizes that with Doyoung, he really enjoys all they do. It may be his feelings for him, but the sex is different from everything he experienced before. 

Taeyong kisses him as he starts moving slowly, dragging his nails on Doyoung’s chest almost involuntarily. He is diving in the feeling of their bodies meshed together, like they belong right there, like nothing else matters right now, like the world around them is fading. Doyoung slides his palm up Taeyong's spine, until his fingers grip his faded blue hair firmly, tugging on it, making Taeyong roll his eyes back and moan unabashedly. Doyoung keeps him close, peppering kisses on his neck and jawline.

"Fuck" Taeyong sighs when Doyoung reaches for his cock and starts jerking him off slow, taking his time.

It just amplifies his pleasure and he's panting in no time, his peak closing in fast. He adjusts until he finds the right position and it’s too overwhelming to hold himself back.

"Baby, I'm gonna cum" he says breathlessly.

Taeyong gasps and trembles through his orgasm, as he hears Doyoung panting, hugging his waist, fingers deep in the skin so hard it’ll leave marks. Taeyong drops his head on Doyoung’s shoulder and he can feel his heart beating in his chest, like it’s about to burst, while his breath evens out. They stay there unmoving, bodies clasped together. Taeyong inhales deeply and pulls back to kiss Doyoung. Then he gets off his lap and they clean themselves up, get under the blankets and lie side by side.

Taeyong takes Doyoung’s hand and deposits a kiss on his knuckles. 

He moves closer to Doyoung, burying his face on his chest. It doesn’t take long for Taeyong to fall asleep surrounded by his scent, fingers treading lightly on his skin. 

  
  


Something snaps close to his face.

“Taeyong. Doyoung. Wake the fuck up.”

He stirs a bit and blinks, looking for the source of the noise. He focuses on Jaehyun after a while.

Doyoung sits up in a flash. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? What are you doing together without a locked door?” he retorts in a whisper.

Taeyong hears faint laughter outside of the room. “What’s happening?”

“Tenth floor decided to bring some breakfast so we can all hang out” explains Jaehyun. “Are you naked under there?”

“Shut up,” says Doyoung. “Pass me my clothes.”

Taeyong just holds the blankets close to his body, still confused and in the process of waking up.

“Could you imagine if anyone but me walked in?” he scolds them. “If a manager decided to pop up?”

“Fuck” Doyoung mutters, putting on his shorts and t-shirt quickly. 

“Sorry” murmurs Taeyong, rubbing his eyes. “I forgot to lock it last night.”

Doyoung turns to him and holds his face. “It’s okay.” He deposits a peck on his lips.

“Aren’t you two cute,” says Jaehyun. “Now hurry up, everyone is literally out there waiting.”

They hand Taeyong his clothes and he gets dressed under the covers. Then the trio proceeds calmly to the living room, Taeyong still yawning.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” says Johnny. 

“Hey, good morning, guys,” says Taeyong.

Everyone does process the situation a bit strangely for the first minutes, realizing that Taeyong and Doyoung were sleeping in the same bed and took their time getting up. But after a while, it’s all forgotten, and they are hanging out and eating as nothing happened. He watches Yuta and Mark discreetly, how they act around the others now when everyone knows they aren’t just friends anymore. They always looked cute, but now their feelings for one another are so clear and special it makes Taeyong melt inside. And all the others are okay with it and cherished them when they found out. It does make Taeyong wonder about telling the group the truth about him and Doyoung, or not. He also knows that Lucas and Ten told WayV about them. Maybe he should talk to them, since talking to Mark and Yuta isn’t really an option. 

Later, Doyoung leaves for SM to do a live, and Ten manages to squeeze some time to see Taeyong. They stroll to the smoothie place and decide to walk leisurely back home.

“So, what’s this urgent thing you wanted to tell me?” Ten grins.

“Well, like I texted you a while back, me and Baekhyun are done for good” Taeyong says.

Ten is slurping his strawberry smoothie and nods. “You never went into details though.”

“That's a story for another time because there is something more pressing.”

“Well, tell me,” Ten says impatiently. 

“Me and Doyoung are… hooking up. A lot.”

“Oh… Really?” Ten smiles. “I did not see that coming.”

“I know. Me neither. But it happened and” Taeyong stops and takes a deep breath. “I think I really like him.”

“Oh, my God, Taeyong” smiles Ten elbowing him playfully. “Are you in love?”

“I don’t know. It’s not like I’m very experienced in that department” he shrugs. “But it’s not casual. It’s different from everything I had so far.”

“Wow. I’m surprised. And happy for you” Ten pulls him close by the shoulder.

“The thing is, I don’t know how to deal with the rest of the group” Taeyong starts. “I didn’t really want to tell them right now but it’s hard to keep it hidden. We are constantly sneaking around and locking doors. I think by now it’s obvious that something is up.”

“Yep, that’s the hard part,” says Ten. “Hendery caught me and Lucas in a compromising situation and it was bound to happen, so we just told him. Maybe you can tell the ones that share the fifth floor with? Johnny and Haechan?”

“Maybe.”

“The stress of lying and hiding eventually gets to you and it’s not nice, trust me,” says Ten. “You remember the whole choking fiasco and how that tore me and Lucas apart.”

“I do” Taeyong gets a shiver just thinking about something similar happening to him and Doyoung.

“At least when your bandmates know, people can cover for you and you can be comfortable in your own house”

“You make convincing points.”

Ten is looking at him. “But?”

“But I don’t think Doyoung wants to tell anyone.”

“Why?”

“Because all of this is already hard on him” sighs Taeyong. “He actually rejected me twice.”

“Well, I rejected Lucas too and ended things with him once” Ten laughs. “Yet, here we are, strong as could be.”

“I don’t wanna scare him away, Ten.”

Ten stops and makes Taeyong turn to face him. “You can’t worry about that. You just have to be honest with him and with yourself. Always.”

Taeyong pulls Ten into a hug. “I missed you.”

Ten laughs. “I missed you too, hyung.”

“Thanks for listening to me,” he says. “And finding the time.”

“You can always text me” answers Ten. “You know I’ll come whenever I can.”

Taeyong nods and smiles and they keep going back to the dorms, which are just around the corner. He can tell his thoughts are clearer now and even if he hasn’t decided what to do, he feels more confident in talking to Doyoung about it. 

Ten and Taeyong say their goodbyes and head to their respective places. Taeyong gets inside the apartment and he can hear a commotion from the living room. One of their managers is there.

“What? An accident?” she says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back from my mini fandom vacation haha
> 
> oh no, accident!!! can someone guess what happened?
> 
> be safe everyone ♥


	19. You have to tell him

“What? An accident?” she says.

Taeyong’s ears perk up at that. Johnny, Haechan, and Jaehyun are in the living room looking at their manager who is standing up talking on her phone.

“Okay. Okay,” the manager is nodding. “I will. See you soon.”

She hangs up the phone.

“What happened?” asks Taeyong, who’s been frozen near the doorway.

“Nothing to worry about, boys,” she says. “Just a fender bender. I have to pick up Doyoung and his manager at the hospital.”

Taeyong’s blood runs cold for a second. “I’m coming.”

“Taeyong, you don’t have to, it’s fine.”

“I’m coming” he repeats, already putting his shoes back on.

She sighs, giving up on the fight.

“I wanna go too,” says Haechan.

“Guys, it was just a minor accident.”

“We don’t care, we wanna go” insists Jaehyun.

“Fine. Then put your shoes and come on.”

The five of them get in the car in the blink of an eye. Taeyong is sitting in the passenger seat, biting his nails, forgetting how to breathe, barely taking in his surroundings. The only thing he sees is rain whipping against the glass, windshield moving frantically. When they get to the hospital, noona drops them at the ER entrance and goes to park the car. Taeyong rushes in, looking for Doyoung. 

He finally sees him sitting on one of the beds at the back of the room. He has a bit of blood dripping from his head into his temple but otherwise looks fine. Taeyong is picking up speed towards him in no time.

“Hey! No running in the ER!” says one of the nurses.

“We’re sorry! We’re sorry!” says Jaehyun.

When Doyoung realizes Taeyong is rushing to him, his eyes widen. Taeyong reaches him and touches his shoulders, his face, examining him up close.

“Are you okay?” he asks with a faltering voice.

“I’m okay” Doyoung pulls him closer by the waist, in between his legs.

“What happened?” Taeyong asks. “Are you in pain?”

“They gave me something for that already. I’m just waiting for stitches” says Doyoung. “Taeyong, you’re trembling.”

His fingers on Doyoungs cheeks indeed are shaking. Taeyong chokes out a sob and hides his face on Doyoung’s neck, who tries to soothe him with a rub on the back. 

“I’m okay,” he whispers. 

Taeyong cries out a bit, then calms down, feeling like he is coming back to his body after being in panic mode for a while.

“Mr. Kim?” says a doctor. “I’ll be doing your stitches now.”

Taeyong steps back and Jaehyun passes his arm around him. “Let’s go sit in the waiting room.”

The three of them lead Taeyong there and sit down. 

“Why don’t we get a drink?” suggests Johnny. “Come help me, Haechan.”

Jaehyun is sitting next to Taeyong, rubbing circles on his back. 

“He’s alright, Taeyong” he whispers.

Taeyong just nods, because he feels like he lost his voice. Soon Johnny is back and he deposits a cup of hot tea in Taeyong’s hand. He can feel their hesitant eyes on him, wondering what sort of overreaction that was back at the ER. But honestly, Taeyong couldn’t hold himself back. He was just terrified, worst-case scenarios running in his head over and over again. He just couldn’t remain rational at the idea of losing Doyoung. It was all so sudden and he realized how much he hasn’t said or done. 

Eventually both their managers show up, noona filling up some forms. 

“So what exactly happened?” asks Johnny.

“Someone crossed the red light and rammed into us from the side” explains the manager. “I barely got any scratches but Doyoung hit his head.”

Taeyong just closes his eyes, trying to mute out their conversation. He doesn’t wanna listen to it and get panicked again, fabricating crazy medical theories of how Doyoung will lose his memory and forget about them or something stupid he saw in a drama.

After a while, they are ready to leave. Taeyong clings to Doyoung’s side the entire way back home.

“Are you hungry, hyung? I can cook you something” says Haechan.

“A little bit, yeah. Thanks” says Doyoung.

The rest of the tenth floor comes to check on him and everyone has dinner together.

Later, Taeyong tucks Doyoung in his bed.

“Here's your bottle of water if you feel thirsty,” he says. “And here are your meds if your head starts to hurt.”

Doyoung nods and smiles sleepily. “Thanks, baby.”

Taeyong’s heart flutters hearing Doyoung call him ‘baby’ for the first time. He wonders if he is high from his pills or something they gave him at the hospital though.

He kisses Doyoung’s lips and leaves, turning off the lights. Back to the living room, he sees Jaehyun, sitting with Johnny and Haechan in the kitchen.

“You’re still here” Taeyong comments offhandedly, going to the fridge and getting a beer. He sits down at the table and runs his hands over his face. The three of them are eyeing him seriously. “What?”

“Taeyong” starts Jaehyun very carefully. “They know.”

“Who knows what?”

Johnny and Haechan raise their hands.

Taeyong looks at them, then at Jaehyun.

“What do you mean ‘they know’?”

“We know,” says Johnny, then he adds in English. “We been knew.”

Taeyong feels his face heat up. He is feeling ambushed and instantly blames Jaehyun. So he takes a few gulps of his drinks and sighs deeply. “Just say whatever you wanna say.”

“We know about you and Doyoungie-hyung” Haechan finally says.

“Did you tell them?” Taeyong eyes Jaehyun, feeling betrayed.

“He didn’t need to, Taeyong,” says Johnny. “We live here. We have ears.”

“Shit” goes Taeyong. “Hm. Sorry?”

“Luckily this one is an adult now” Johnny slaps Haechan’s back.

“Shut up, hyung,” Haechan rolls his eyes.

Taeyong sighs. “Well, for now, can we keep this between us?”

“Whatever you say, boss,” says Johnny. “But damn. First Yuta and Mark. Now you and Doyoung. Everyone is forming couples. Do you wanna be my pair, Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun giggles. “You know I would.”

“Stop being ridiculous,” says Haechan.

They laugh and Taeyong joins halfheartedly. 

“I actually want Taeil. He is so huggable” says Johnny.

“No, Taeil-hyung is mine,” Haechan says seriously.

“Does that mean I get Jungwoo?” thinks Jaehyun. 

“It does, yeah. Not a bad option” says Johnny.

“You guys are weird,” says Taeyong, finishing his drink. “I’m going to bed. I’m beaten. And again, please don’t tell anyone about it. At least not until I discuss it with Doyoung.”

They say their goodnights and Taeyong takes a shower before bed. He’s watering his plants when Jaehyun comes into his room without knocking.

“Hey,” he says.

“For a moment there I thought you told them and got really mad,” says Taeyong.

“Oh, I noticed” Jaehyun laughs. “I would never do that to you.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just been an insane day.”

Jaehyun comes closer and hugs Taeyong from the side. “I know. You kinda freaked out.”

“I totally did” sighs Taeyong. “Do you think I scared Doyoung?”

“No, it wasn’t that bad. You were just clearly upset.”

“I was,” says Taeyong. “My mind just kept creating these horror scenarios, stuff out of nightmares.”

“He’s fine, Taeyongie.”

Taeyong sighs. Jaehyun takes him by the shoulders and turns him around.

“You really like him, don’t you?”

Taeyong gulps. “I think so.”

Jaehyun bites his lip, excitement in his eyes. “You have to tell him.”

“I don’t know” Taeyong looks down. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Come on, hyung” Jaehyun squeezes his shoulders. “You can figure it out.”

“What if he freaks out?”

“Well, that’s a possibility…”

“Fuck, Jaehyun...”

“But I don’t think he will” continues Jaehyun. “I’ve seen you together. It’s mutual.”

“I guess I’ll only know if I talk to him” Taeyong exhales.

“That’s the spirit!” smiles Jaehyun. “Now, I’ll let you sleep. You have lots to think about, anyway.”

And he has. With a mind full of thoughts Taeyong lays down on his bed. He tosses and turns, trying not to worry about Doyoung’s head or the fact that Johnny and Haechan heard them fucking and know about them. He tries not to think about his last conversation with Jaehyun. But then, he remembers his talk with Ten and how he reiterated that honesty is the most important thing. So Taeyong figures he has to talk to Doyoung eventually. What he’ll say, he isn’t sure. But he’ll work it out.

The next day, Taeyong wants to stay in, and nurse Doyoung back to health. Not that he really needs it, but Taeyong doesn't want to leave his side. Except he has to, because of a salon appointment for another hair dye, and a meeting at SM. So he kisses Doyoung goodbye and leaves for his day.

Everything goes fine until it doesn’t.

Taeyong runs into the last person he expects to see in the break room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who do you think taeyong runs into? i'm curious about what you think
> 
> also, who is excited for the end of the story? and the sequel? i'm excited!
> 
> see you soon ♥


	20. Meetups

Taeyong runs into the last person he expects to see in the breakroom.

Chanyeol.

He’s sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee.

Taeyong was about to get one himself, but now he wants to silently back away and run.

Except Chanyeol notices him there.

“Oh. Hey.”

“Hi” Taeyong manages to say. He points to the coffee machine. “Just needed a caffeine hit.”

“Of course.”

Taeyong walks up to the machine and puts his won bill inside, punching in the numbers, while a heavy silence falls in the room. If things were uncomfortable before, they somehow progressively get worse. Taeyong can barely breathe.

“Taeyong-shii” he suddenly says. “Can we talk?”

He takes a second to process. His coffee is ready. He grabs the cup and turns around to face him.

“Yes, sunbae.”

“You can call me hyung, it’s fine,” says Chanyeol.

That should make Taeyong calmer but it doesn’t.

“Do you wanna sit?”

Taeyong answers by sitting in one of the armchairs, somewhat far from him. He’s staring at the black hot liquid in his hands.

“I wanna say sorry, Taeyong,” says Chanyeol. “For that day.”

Taeyong just nods at that.

“The way I reacted was really out of line” he keeps going. “I ruined your night and ultimately I ruined what you and Baekhyun had.”

“It’s okay,” says Taeyong, his voice finally not failing him. “I think that’s how things were supposed to happen. It’s what I said to Baekhyun-hyung.”

Chanyeol laughs. “He told me. It’s an interesting way to frame things.”

A pause.

“I just want to tell you that, whenever Baekhyun and I hooked up, he told me you guys weren’t together,” Taeyong says and it feels like a weight off his chest. “I never meant to get in between you two.”

“You didn’t,” says Chanyeol, looking at him. “We were either in an open relationship or broken up. And I was seeing other people too. He’s not some villain and I’m definitely not a victim.”

That seems to clear things up for Taeyong, hearing both sides of their weird love-triangle.

“Are you guys doing okay?” asks Taeyong. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t” Chanyeol answers with a crooked smile. “It’s just hard to answer. It always was.”

“I hope you guys can work it out. I really do.”

“Thanks,” Chanyeol says, then he looks at his wristwatch. “I should probably get going. It was good talking to you, Taeyong.”

“Yeah.”

Chanyeol gives him a last nod before turning around and leaving. 

After that, Taeyong just wants to do one thing.

Later, he lies between Doyoung's legs, burrowing his face in his belly, while Doyoung rubs his head.

"I like your new hair color," he says softly. "Although blue looks amazing on you." 

Taeyong smiles. "Thanks. You won't believe what happened today."

"What happened?"

Taeyong props himself on his elbows to look at Doyoung. 

"I bumped into Chanyeol at SM."

"Oh."

"We talked. He said he is sorry for what happened."

"Well, he should be. That was-"

"Doie…" Taeyong laughs and Doyoung joins him.

"I'm serious. I hate that you went through that" he says.

Taeyong smiles and crawls closer to him carefully, still worried about the bump on Doyoung's head.

"It's in the past now. Officially."

Doyoung wraps his arms around Taeyong. “Well, if you can get over it, then so can I.”

Taeyong leans in to kiss him tenderly. He pulls back, their noses brushing. Taeyong feels his heart fluttering.

“Doyoung, I-”

“Dinner’s ready!” Haechan is knocking on their door.

Taeyong rolls off the bed. “Come on, Doie.”

He’s actually glad Haechan cut him off. Because he’s not sure he’s ready for that conversation. He was just going to blurt it out without thinking about the consequences. 

“How’s your head?” asks Johnny, while they eat.

“It’s better. I’ll take off the stitches in a couple of days.”

“Can I ask you guys something?” says Haechan with a mouthful.

“Sure,” says Doyoung.

Taeyong glances at him.

“Did you… Did Taeyong…” he starts, and Taeyong knows what he means.

“We didn’t,” he says quickly. 

“We didn’t what?” Doyoung is looking from one to the other, confused.

No one answers.

Doyoung laughs. “What?”

“Doie, they know. They heard… us” Taeyong finally says.

“Oh,” Doyoung says. “Oh!”

He chuckles and Taeyong is surprised by his reaction, so he laughs along.

“Sorry?” says Doyoung, shrugging.

“It was only once though” adds Johnny. 

“It was enough” sighs Haechan.

“So, when are you telling the rest of the group?” Johnny asks.

Taeyong and Doyoung trade a look.

“I don’t know” Doyoung shrugs. “I guess we could do it any time.”

That makes Taeyong perk up, realizing that Doyoung is okay with letting the others know about them.

"I can set something up" he offers.

They decide to talk to the rest of the group soon. 

Later, as Doyoung is getting ready for bed, he turns to Taeyong. "What were you going to say earlier? Before dinner?"

"Er" starts Taeyong. "Just that, I…"

Doyoung is staring at him, anticipating his answer.

"Do you wanna go to a restaurant tomorrow?"

Doyoung thinks for a couple of seconds. "Sure"

He gets in bed. 

"Okay. I'll let you sleep" Taeyong kneels beside him and kisses his cheek.

"I miss sleeping with you," Doyoung says, running his fingers through Taeyong's hair.

Taeyong smiles and his heart skips a beat. "But your head. I don't wanna risk bumping into it." He strokes Doyoung's jaw.

"You won't bump into it. Lie down with me."

Taeyong concedes, unable to deny him. "Whatever these doctors gave you is making you so docile."

"What? You think I'm only nice just because of drugs? Shut up" Doyoung rolls his eyes.

"That's more like the Doyoung I know" he teases.

"I'm not even taking anything anymore, for your information."

Taeyong cups his cheek. "I'm glad you're healing. Soon you'll be all better."

Doyoung pulls him for a kiss. It's soft and sweet. Taeyong rests his head on Doyoung's shoulder.

"So…" starts Taeyong. "Johnny and Haechan know. Ten knows. Soon the entire group will know."

"Ten knows?

"I told him. I talked to him the other day."

They are playing with their hands, ring on Taeyong's finger, while its pair rests over Doyoung's chest, in a necklace.

"Does telling them bother you?" asks Taeyong.

"It would have before," says Doyoung. "Not really now."

"What happened to the old Doyoung that only did secret and casual? You really hit your head hard."

"You’re unbearable" sighs Doyoung, but they laugh after that.

And again, Taeyong feels a stir in his gut, wants to tell him, but he’s still too scared. Is it too soon? He pushes these thoughts aside as Doyoung puts another episode of The 100, which Taeyong doesn’t really keep up to, but is happy to just cuddle close to Doyoung as he watches it. They fall asleep together.

The next day, Taeyong and Doyoung go to a Japanese restaurant for an early dinner.

“So,” says Taeyong after he updates his Bubble with a couple of pics. “What exactly should we tell them?”

“Regarding us?”

“Yeah,” he says, stirring his food around. “I don’t think either of us intended to let them know this soon but the chain of events left us with no choice.”

“You mean Johnny and Haechan figuring it out and the car accident?” asks Doyoung.

“Yep. Me freaking out at the hospital because you bumped your head didn’t really help” says Taeyong taking a bite of beef.

“You didn’t freak out” smiles Doyoung, reaching for Taeyong’s free hand across the table. “It was sweet. If there was any doubt in my mind that you cared about me, it ended that day.”

Taeyong blushes. 

“But to answer your question, I think we should tell them we are dating,” says Doyoung. “Isn’t that what we are doing?”

“Yeah,” says Taeyong with a shy smile. “We are.”

After dinner, they buy a bunch of ice cream pints to take home. It is all part of the plan to break it down for the rest of the group nicely. They head to the tenth floor with Johnny and Haechan to surprise the rest of the gang.

“What’s the occasion?” asks Mark.

“Do we need an occasion to have ice cream?” says Jungwoo, already downing a spoonful of the matcha one.

“We don’t but…” Mark doesn’t finish his sentence as Taeyong slides him a pint of cookies and cream.

“We don’t need one,” says Taeyong. “But we have one.”

“What’s up?” asks Yuta.

“It’s actually not a big deal but Doie and I wanted to say something” Taeyong continues. 

He’s standing up in the kitchen while everyone gathered around the table. He trades a look with Doyoung, who looks calm as he eats from his mango pint. A surge of happiness passes through him.

“We are dating.”

Mark chokes and starts coughing. Yuta immediately pats his back with a smile on his face. Taeil, Johnny, and Haechan laugh at him. 

“Is it that shocking?” Taeyong giggles nervously.

“Not at all,” says Jungwoo. 

“Nope” adds Yuta.

“Not really” complements Taeil.

“Wait, what” Mark can finally talk. “But they are always fighting.”

“It’s called unresolved sexual tension, Mark” explains Jungwoo calmly. “That’s why you and Yuta don’t fight anymore.”

Mark turns red while everyone laughs. 

“Okaaaaaaay,” he says. “Nevermind.”

Taeyong is amused by the reactions.

“But obviously, like with Mark and Yuta, let’s not tell our managers, okay?” adds Taeyong.

They all nod in agreement.

“So, when did it start?” asks Jungwoo. “I think that’s what everyone wants to know.”

Taeyong and Doyoung trade a look. 

“A couple of days after my birthday,” says Taeyong.

“Oh, so it’s recent” comments Yuta.

“We tried to keep it hidden but Taeyong failed miserably” teases Doyoung with a straight face.

Taeyong rolls his eyes. He’s pretty sure it was both their moans that Johnny and Haechan heard, but he won’t say that in front of everyone.

“Yeah, they are not that quiet,” says Johnny.

“Oh, my God” Taeyong hides his face in his hand, while everyone laughs and hollers.

“Yuta and Mark aren’t quiet either,” says Jungwoo, making them laugh harder and Mark turns red again.

“Can we not?” pleads Mark.

“Look at how Yuta seems pleased with himself,” snickers Taeil, because Yuta doesn’t seem bothered by the talk at all.

Yuta shrugs with a smirk.

“I actually agree with Mark” adds Jaehyun. “Can we stop talking about it? Because it’s a reminder that I haven’t gotten laid in a while.”

“I told you already you can hit me up, Jaehyunnie,” says Jungwoo in a sweet voice.

“Shut up” Jaehyun laughs.

“You’ll always be my Jack” Jungwoo smiles and takes his hand, as everyone cracks up.

“Ok, Rose” Jaehyun sighs.

“What about Jeongguk? Why don’t you give him a call?” asks Johnny.

“We agreed it’s not a good idea after the Itaewon fiasco” he answers. “And I think he got himself a boyfriend now.”

“I guess you are stuck with Rose” Doyoung jabs.

“Shut up,” says Jaehyun.

With that, Jungwoo pulls Jaehyun close and leans his head against him.

“It’s okay, Jack. I got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because some of you guessed right, i posted the chapter! XD it was my plan all along muahahaha
> 
> the jungkook mention actually links up to my bts fanfic. yep. so basically the verse has a bastard bts child sakjshakljahslk
> 
> next chapter is THE LAST CHAPTER by the way, then there is just an epilogue to wrap it up and it's a short one. OMG!!!!! are you guys excited or sad? i'm confused haha
> 
> see you soon ♥


	21. Silver Halos

Doyoung has his stitches removed finally and Taeyong decides to take him out on a Sunday so they can hang outside of the house for a bit. The weather is nice and the sky is beautiful. 

“Stop, yeah, like that,” says Doyoung, pointing his phone at him to take a picture.

Taeyong laughs. “Let me see.”

“You look good, of course,” he says. “It’s unfair how photogenic you are.”

“You’re saying that like you’re not equally photogenic,” Taeyong says, taking his chin.

“Well, you’re still the center and face of NCT” Doyoung smiles.

“Shut up” Taeyong pokes him and Doyoung starts laughing and running away.

Taeyong follows until he catches up, grabbing him in his arms in a tight hug.

“Ouch, ouch” Doyoung complains.

Taeyong starts kissing his nape.

“Stop that, we’re in public” Doyoung chuckles.

“No one is here,” says Taeyong, turning him around, arms locked.

“That dog is looking at us” Doyoung nods towards it.

“Oy, doggie!” Taeyong lets him go and crouches near the pet. 

Doyoung points his camera at him again. “Over here.”

Taeyong poses for another picture.

“Okay, now sit on the stairs, let me take another one.”

He does as Doyoung says.

“Now you have nice pictures to post later. You’re welcome” Doyoung smirks, sending them to Taeyong.

“Sure. Thanks, baby” says Taeyong with a smile.

The two of them stroll around some more, enjoying the deserted place. For once, Doyoung is wearing his ring on his finger. He does it on occasion, but mostly he keeps it on his necklace.

It’s very sudden when the wind and sky change, going from bright and blue to dark heavy clouds.

“Oh, no,” says Taeyong, looking up.

Raindrops start falling and soon it's showering. Taeyong takes Doyoung’s hand and they run back to the place they were before, looking for cover. They are soaked and laughing when they manage to get inside an empty warehouse. Taeyong leans against the wall, catching his breath. He’s still holding onto Doyoung and pulls him close for a kiss.

“Taeyong” he protests. “Someone can show up.”

But Doyoung doesn’t back away. They are staring into each other’s eyes, breath fanning against their faces.

“This reminds me of our first kiss” Taeyong smiles, cupping his face.

Doyoung can’t help but chuckle, his wet bangs sticking to his forehead, glasses speckled with raindrops. He puts his hands over Taeyong’s and kisses one of his palms. Then he takes Taeyong by the waist and joins their lips. It starts as a soft touch, but soon Taeyong parts his lips, searching for Doyoung’s tongue with his, holding him tighter. Their bodies mold against each other, heating up even in soaked clothes. They become breathless and turned on too quickly. Taeyong wants to open Doyoung’s pants and take him right there, but he knows that’s a stupid idea. 

“We should go home” he exhales.

Doyoung nods, pupils blown out with lust. They separate and compose themselves before calling a car.

When they are back, both step out of their cold wet clothes and into the hot shower together, where the make-out session continues. But they don’t have lube or condoms there, so they take it to Doyoung’s room. They are on the bed in a flash, impatient, turned on and teased way too long, where Doyoung starts stretching Taeyong and pulling little moans out of him.

“I’m good,” he says and helps Doyoung roll a condom on.

Doyoung sits down against the headboard and Taeyong straddles him. He positions himself and starts sinking onto him, feeling the familiar dull burn he’s come to enjoy, never taking his eyes off of Doyoung’s face. Taeyong is holding his breath until he bottoms out, when he exhales and clasps their hands together. He sees the identical rings on their fingers, like silver halos, binding the two of them. Doyoung notices this and kisses his hand. Taeyong smiles and joins their lips for a slow kiss. 

“Doyoung” he whispers, looking into his eyes because he can’t hold it back anymore. “I love you.”

Doyoung seems surprised at first, but Taeyong doesn’t regret saying it. He needed to. 

Then, Doyoung grabs Taeyong by the waist and turns them around, laying him on the bed. He strokes his cheek fondly. 

“I love you too.”

Taeyong feels his chest burn bright at those words. He smiles and pulls him for a kiss, as Doyoung starts moving, fucking him slowly.

It doesn’t take long for Taeyong to start falling apart, trembling under Doyoung’s relentless touch, trying hard to keep his moans low. He digs his nails into Doyoung’s back as his peak gets closer and closer.

He cums crying out Doyoung’s name, holding him tight in his arms.

After the high, they are panting, hearts beating in sync. Doyoung moves first, kissing Taeyong’s shoulder, jaw, and lips. Taeyong blinks his eyes open slowly and sees his boyfriend looking at him with warmth and love, and he reacts unexpectedly by letting out a sob.

“Taeyong, what’s wrong?” he asks, worried, lying beside him. 

“You are so good to me” Taeyong chokes out. “You’ve always taken care of me.”

Doyoung caresses his cheek and kisses his forehead.

“I’m so lucky” he whispers, grabbing Doyoung’s nape and pulling him close.

“No,” Doyoung says. “I’m the lucky one.”

Taeyong lets out a teary chuckle and kisses him.

“Stay here. Let me clean you up” Doyoung says.

He takes some tissues to clean them up and then throws them out with the condom, while Taeyong wipes his tears. Doyoung comes back to bed and rearranges the pillows, laying down and taking Taeyong in his arms.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I cried” he says, a bit embarrassed. “Something just came over me.”

Doyoung looks at him with lidded eyes, brushing his jaw. 

“No need to be sorry” he whispers. “You’re perfect.”

“I’m not” Taeyong laughs.

“Just accept the compliment” Doyoung kisses him, shutting him up. “Whatever made you think you don’t deserve to be cared for, it was a lie.”

“Stop it or I’ll cry again” whines Taeyong, feeling his eyes burn.

He doesn’t really know what or who, if anything, made him believe he didn’t deserve to be treated like Doyoung treats him, always caring and loving, even when they argued and bickered. Maybe it was something that happened while he was growing up, maybe it was facing harsh criticism every day just for being an idol, maybe it was his weird previous relationships. But it doesn’t matter now, because he was in the arms of his best friend, the person who he wants to grow old with, whatever the future holds for them, even if somehow they don’t make it. He knows Doyoung will always be there for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked this chapter T-T
> 
> taeyong really posted these pics on twitter or bubble i think, i cant remember, and he talked about the weather being good until it wasn't. i don't think he was on a leisure outing, he was probably working because that's all he does, but i liked to reimagine that Sunday as the two of them enjoying an afternoon together. 
> 
> epillogue next!!!
> 
> be safe ♥


	22. Blue infinities

“Don’t be nervous, it’s gonna be fine” Taeyong says, giving Doyoung’s hand a squeeze.

“If only you told me who we are meeting I wouldn’t get so nervous” his boyfriend answers.

“No one new,” he assures him with a smile.

Doyoung huffs frustrated, making Taeyong laugh. The car pulls up in front of their usual smoothie place and they get off. Taeyong can already see their friends sitting at a table inside. He and Doyoung make their way in to greet them.

“Hey, everyone,” says Taeyong.

Taemin, Kai, Lucas, and Ten greet them warmly. Taeyong notices Doyoung’s confused face.

“We’ll get something to drink and be right back,” he says.

Doyoung doesn’t say anything, hands inside his jacket, while Taeyong orders them two strawberry smoothies. They sit back at the table, where the four SuperM members are discussing something about their comeback. When they finish, Taemin turns to Doyoung.

“So this is the one we’ve heard so much about.”

“What?” Doyoung laughs nervously.

“Yes, this is my boyfriend,” Taeyong says with a smile. “But Taemin-hyung is lying, I didn’t tell them that much about you.”

“Oh, comforting” Doyoung jests.

“Doie, I wanted you to come to meet them for a couple of reasons” Taeyong explains. “It’s obvious you already know all of them.”

“You do remember me, right?” Ten asks, clearly joking. “We debuted together?”

“And me?” Lucas says, joining his hands together in a significant gesture.

Doyoung just laughs awkwardly, hiding behind his hand.

“As you can see, it’s not that I wanted you to meet my SuperM members, otherwise all of them would be here” Taeyong continues.

Doyoung just nods.

“I wanted you to meet the ones who are in a relationship,” he says.

Doyoung’s reaction is priceless. His eyes get wide, lips slightly parted, looking at Taeyong, who’s just smiling at him. Doyoung glances at the others.

“So you weren’t making things up…” Doyoung finally says.

“No, I wasn’t.”

Everyone laughs.

“Jongin and I actually have been seeing each other on and off for years,” Taemin says.

“And we started a little while before you guys did,” says Ten.

“Wow. I mean, congratulations” Doyoung says, stunned.

“And technically, in case you ever wondered” Taemin starts. “There is nothing in our contracts that says we can’t date other idols in the company. We went over it with my lawyer.”

“See?” Taeyong takes Doyoung’s hand under the table, giving him a fond look. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Well, knowing we are not the only ones kinda helps, yeah” he admits.

“Everyone does it,” says Kai. “Trust us.”

“We just happen to be more careful and private than straight couples,” says Ten. 

“Yeah. Like toning down the skinship in public” says Kai. 

“It’s just some small adjustments really” Taemin agrees.

They talk for a couple of hours before going back to the dorms.

  
  


Back home, Taeyong and Doyoung decide to go to the rooftop to enjoy the last hours of sunlight. Doyoung is still processing the conversation they had in the morning with the other couples. 

“I wanted to surprise you” smiles Taeyong.

“Oh, you did” Doyoung settles down on the garden chair, getting comfortable. “No surprises for a while, please.”

Taeyong laughs. He sits beside Doyoung and huddles against him, taking out his phone.

“Do you wanna watch some Naruto?” he teases.

“Don’t start that again” Doyoung says. “You’re unbearable.”

“You love me.”

“I do” Doyoung kisses his temple and holds him tight. “What’s that? Is that us?”

“My phone wallpaper?” Taeyong shows him. “Yes. Yuta took this picture of us when we were napping here months ago. You remember?”

“I remember the day, but I’ve never seen this before,” he says, baffled. “Since when do you use this as your wallpaper?”

“Since that day.”

Doyoung turns to look at him. “No way.”

“Yes.”

“I’ve never noticed it.”

“Sometimes we don’t see things that are right in front of us” Taeyong shrugs. 

Doyoung studies him, then cups his face and gives him a peck on the lips.

“I see you now,” he says.

“I see you too.”

They cuddle each other under the blue infinite sky above them, as the day comes to an end. One day of many more they’ll share together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and cut! we are done :)
> 
> or not! if you wanna keep reading, the sequel is up and it's called of ruby collars and sapphire binds. it might not be for everyone's taste and i get that so if you want to consider this the finale for dotae you can!
> 
> i hope everyone has great holidays and a better 2021  
> be safe! ♥


End file.
